How To Get Over a Breakup

5 Reasons Why Meditation Will Help You Through A Breakup

For me, training is my meditation, my yoga, hiking, biking all rolled into one. Wake up early in the morning, generally around 4 o’clock, and I’ll do my cardio on an empty stomach. Stretch, have a big breakfast, and then I’ll go train.
– Dwayne Johnson

My girlfriend and I had gotten into another meaningless argument, and had broken up again. She decided to dump me again over me sitting on the couch in her house while reading a magazine. Turns out she was going to see another guy who was the guy she ended up dumping me for. As I was leaving within minutes of breaking up with me, she told me of his existence and her relationship with him. As you can guess I was not happy.

I left her house and went home mad, angry, frustrated, and confused. “How had I been so stupid and dated this person who had been basically lying to me for months?” I asked myself. “Why me, why did she have to dump me on this random night during the cold January weather, I’m not that bad of a guy.”

The next day and for the rest of that week I tried calling her to get her to explain herself or find some sort of meaningless closure to the situation, but did not get a response. I tried calling her phone confused and got the inevitable two rings and straight to voicemail – clearly indicative that she had blocked my number.

Frustrated and angry at the world at this point I was happy the weather had taken a turn for the better at least, and decided to go outside and sit underneath one of the biggest trees in my parents yard beside their man-made rock wall from over 100 years ago. I noticed it was quite and peaceful and sat alone with my thoughts and started to feel more relaxed and better, and not so angry at this insignificant person who I then thought was one of the most important people in the world. I closed my eyes and focused on my breath and the cool breeze as well as the good weather and the sounds outside and felt more relaxed and calm. “Maybe there is something to this,” I thought to myself.

Thus began my quest and experience to meditation, and since that day years ago I have meditated for hours and noticed some clear benefits, and noticed it helped me forget this girl who seemed to be able to forget me so quickly. Here are five reasons why it might help you get over the girl who seemed to forget over you in five minutes and who also may have dumped you for a short weird-looking guy with dirty glasses:

It focuses your mind on your body, rather than on the girl and the bad situation going on in your mind

Human beings and especially girl have gotten to the point where they are almost physically attached and obsessed with their phones. The problem is that your phone is hotspot for looking at your exes social media, old text messages, etc. and that leads guys to constantly think about their ex. Back in the day men used to go outside and do manly activities when they were bored rather than stare at a pixellated screen, so it wasn’t as much of a problem. Taking a break and laying down while focusing on what’s going on with your body gives you the opportunity to get out of your own anxiety-producing head, and onwards towards getting over the breakup.

2. It lowers blood pressure and makes you healthier

One of the most likely times your blood pressure will skyrocket is probably during a breakup, when you’re worrying if your ex is thinking about you, missing you, seeing someone new, etc. Meditation has been shown to not only decrease your blood pressure during this turbulous time, but it has also been to shown to make you an overall healthier guy. This is good new because the healthier you are during the period of a breakup the quicker you will be on your way towards moving on and finding another girl to replace the one things didn’t work out with.

3. It offers other benefits other than working out

If you were like me when I was 22-23 I thought squatting, benching, deadlifting, and occasionally running were the only things needed to be fit and were the only things that really fit the definition of “working out.” If you would have asked me about meditation and yoga I would of told you that I thought it was only for girls or that it was stupid and didn’t want to be one of those weird hippie people who sat on a mat with their legs crossed while humming a weird tone. I was a bro and I lifted heavy weights only.

Then I slowly incorporated meditation and found that other benefits can be had to this that a pump cannot. I noticed I was much less anxious, and it lead to a mental clarity and level of mental health I had not experienced before. It led me to having more discipline in other areas of life, including fitness, school, and dieting.

4. It leads to better decision making

Think of the last time you made a bad decision. It was most likely because you were in a hurry or haste, and didn’t give the decision the attention it needed or maybe it was because you didn’t care enough to take the time to think. You probably regretted going to the bar with the bros the night after she dumped you and drinking yourself into oblivion, or regret calling your girlfriend 25,938 times the night she dumped you to try to reconcile the relationship. Instead of picking up the phone or beer bottle maybe lay down for ten minutes, close your eyes, and breathe. Then maybe you will think twice before drinking 14 beers trying to drown away your sorrows or calling you ex so many times she blocks you because you would have given yourself a chance to clear your mind and think in a more intelligent, manly, and more thought-out manner.

5. It leads to more confidence

All of these side effects will ultimately lead to more confidence, which will in turn lead to you getting over your girlfriend. Being able to focus on your body and get out of your own head, being a healthier man, having mental clarity not achieved through other forms of working out, and being able to make better decisions will lead you to subconsciously realize that you are the alpha male and able to conquer something many young men have trouble with.

So, go online and find whatever guided meditation you like, lay down on the floor, close your eyes, and just breathe in your stomach for 5-10 minutes and you will find that you will grow to be a better man than the day you were yesterday, while you curled up in a ball crying on the floor because you thought the love of your life was gone forever. Little did she know that a new,better you is developing and the old you who didn’t meditate is gone forever, and she probably made a big mistake by cheating on you with that weird-looking guy with dirty glasses from her work.

Like this blog? Is it help you getting over your ex-girlfriend? Follow this blog by clicking on https://howtogetoverabreakup.travel.blog/blog-feed/ and click follow on this page. Want to let me know what you think? Go to https://howtogetoverabreakup.travel.blog/contact/ and enter in your e-mail along with your comment. Thanks, I really appreciate it.

5 Things I Learned About Girls And Breakups In My 20’s

Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.
– Benjamin Franklin

When you are a young 20-something-year-old guy going through a breakup it helps to have some wisdom about the opposite sex. My being the hard-headed young man I was in my early 20’s shows that I knew nearly nothing about the unexplained complexities of the female mind, and understanding a female’s brain is probably harder than understanding the complexities of quantum physics. But here is some advice to help you maybe understand why some girls behave the way they do.

Breakups suck for girls just as much as guys, maybe even moreso in the beginning.

I was sitting on the edge of a rock in almost near pitch-black night under the stars with my buddy Jimmy. We had already got the key recipe for the night’s shenanigans – cheap hard apple cider, and already had it on ice in the cooler. This new girl I was trying to date was with us, along with her friend. Unfortunately for Jim, the friend was much less attractive than the girl I was seeing/ pursuing that night, and scored below the range of being acceptable enough to have sexual relationships with that night. Fortunately for me, the girl I brought on the outdoor date was well above the range of being acceptable enough to have sexual relations with and even date, so I brought the hard apple cider to compensate for my awkwardness. I remember we got on the topic of breakups, and remember how my girlfriend blurted out, “breakups really suck.” The emotion and solidness in her voice confirmed to me that breakups really do suck for girls, and I have since found that they suck just as much for girls as they do guys. Even research shows that breakups take more of an emotional toll in the beginning on girls than they do guys, but in the long-run guys feel the pain of breakups for longer and have a harder time getting over the other person. Good thing you have this blog for advice.

2. Girls are not obsessed with sex like you are

Every 16-year-old teenage guy and every guy who’s ever been 16-years-old before and lonely and horny while stuck in a high school classroom for 8+ hours a day with dozens of other attractive females knows that the idea of sex enters the brain approximately 6-10 times every 1.2452353 seconds. That’s probably an exaggeration but every guy can relate to this fact. As guys sex dominates our lives. We live for it sometimes. We obsess over it. It controls us, it manipulates us, and sometimes it can destroy us. There’s a reason one of the most bad-ass and beastly men in the universe known as Achilles of Troy was killed over a woman – women are one of the most powerful things in the universe, and we as men are obsessed about finding some hopeless way of sleeping with as many of them as we can. This is not women’s desires. They generally do not obsess about sex like we do. They generally do not have the same pervented fantasies floating in their head as often as you do. You must realize and accept this, and remember this when you are rationalizing your breakup with your girlfriend – one of the main reasons couples breakup is because of sex.

3. Girls value friends more than anything

If you’re introverted like me and don’t mind staying in and binge watching Youtube or the latest episode of whatever meaningless TV show you’re hooked on for your Friday night, you may not understand why your girlfriend insists that she has to go out for her friend Kelly’s birthday. “Come over and hang with me and I’ll let you pick the movie” you might offer, or “come hang out with me and the boys, we’re going to that new bar you’ve been talking about downtown.” Women insist on hanging out with their friends on the weekends and balancing time with their girlfriends because women’s brains are wired for communication and friendship. There have been studies that show feel-good chemicals are released when women bond with their friends, and just like you get off on watching the latest episode of your show, she gets off on hanging with her girlfriends. She probably gets off on it more.

4. Girls do not like to be controlled in the year 2019

Something happened 50 years ago. Something that would change your life forever, and would change the way women interact and think. This something just-so-happened to be the feminist movement, and now that it’s 2019 the movement is still going strong. Women want to be more independent than ever. The idea of independence and not being controlled by a man has been drilled into little girl’s heads relentlessly since their birth, and the idea of a 1950’s housewife is almost appalling today. If you indicate you are trying to control your girlfriend in a more-than-acceptable manner then you will surely be crucified, so take heed of what I’m saying my friend. Especially if you’re girlfriend was indoctinated and educated in the idealogy of what is known as the United States’ university, then especially tread lightly. Do not try to be controlling of your girlfriend, and you will see the less controlling you are, the smoother the relationship will likely go. This is yet another reason your girlfriend may have dumped you.

5. Feelings are sensitive

One time I did something incredibly stupid. My girlfriend was trying on clothes and a bra and asked me what I thought of her boobs. The correct response would be to tell her that I liked them (which I did) and not mention anything about their size. Unfortunately I was an extreme novice in the wisdom of girls at this time, and said something along the lines of, “They’re nice and cute and small. Although they’re small I like that about them.” I then smiled not realizing I just completely devastated my girlfriends world by telling her something she already knew – that her boobs were kind of small. This was not a good move, and it is important to understand that as men we must think before we speak, especially when we are speaking to the opposite sex. If I had said that exact same comment to my friend Brandon no one would have bat an eye. The same comment said to the opposite sex has devastating consequences, which may in fact lead to a breakup. Maybe you’re girlfriend dumped you because you were dumb like me and blurted out too many unintentional insults. Either way you can remember what you did wrong in this relationship, and change for the better so next time you can be and grow to be a better man.

Diet For a Breakup – Why You Should Watch Your Diet During This Time

In the course of my life, I have often had to eat my words, and I must confess that I have always found it a wholesome diet.
– Winston Churchill

So the Love of Your Life just grabbed your heart, ripped it out of your chest, and stomped on it before your very eyes didn’t she? While you were living your life with her happily and merrily ever after, maybe she unexpectedly called you on the phone while you were heading to your dorm from another workout that gave you a good pump. You may have been blind-sided, or maybe you saw it coming from a mile away because you two have been arguing for months on everything – from what kind of pizza to order for dinner to the fact that she doesn’t like the super soft but stained white cut-off t-shirts you wear to the gym. Regardless of the case, it still sucks and now you want to drown your sorrows in beer and cheap soft drinks while scarfing down cheap delivery pizza from your local college campus every night. I’m here to tell you this is unwise. Here are 6 reasons why:

Eating bad food will create a negative cycle.

This is a negative cycle that many of my former friends in college as well as lifelong friends have fallen victim too, and this cycle is vicious. It starts with you eating pizza and drinking beer on Tuesday night, because you feel like “letting loose” and not caring because the love of your life girlfriend broke your heart on Monday. Wednesday you figure you will do the same thing, and stop caring about your diet on that day. Thursday you think to yourself, “well I may as well cheat on my diet today, because this entire week I have already cheated and I am going to have a cheat week.” The fact that the game is on Saturday and you’re going out with the bros doesn’t help either, because you know you’ll be chugging beers and eating as many hot wings as your stomach can ingest in one sitting. I would not recommend this strategy.

2. Eating unhealthy after a breakup will negatively affect your mind.

We all have heard the phrase “healthy mind healthy body” and this phrase could not apply more here. Eating healthy while you are in a heartbroken state will allow you to feel your best, and will more likely lead you to see the situation for what it is, rather than what you perceive to be. One major mistake most young college guys make when they get broken up with is that they perceive their relationship with their girlfriend as something it simply is not. For example I had a friend while I was in college who would turn a blind eye every time his girlfriend would cheat on him, and he eventually grew in-denial of the fact that the girl who he was in love with was loving other guys almost every other week, on a regular basis. When they broke up, if he had eaten a healthier and cleaner diet this would have more likely led him to think more clearly, and see the situation for what it was, rather than what he wanted it to be.

3. Eating unhealthy will significantly decrease the chances of you getting another girlfriend.

One of the most important and concrete ways to get over a girl is to eventually see another girl, and you won’t get another girlfriend if you’re obsessed with eating pizza, beer, and ice cream all day. You will most likely smell. You will most likely get soft. You will most likely not be as confident, and project the amount of manly presence you normally project. Women typically place some amount of importance on the looks, smell, and health of their partner, and when you let these go down the drain, then your chances of getting with that super-hot blonde chick you see at the bar on Saturday night will also.

4. Eating unhealthy will eventually give your ex confirmation that it was a good idea to dump you

Now I’m not a big proponent of revenge, and don’t like the idea of “getting back at an ex.” But it does feel really good when you improve yourself and “get revenge” the best way – by living well. So for example let’s say your ex dumped you around Valentine’s day, like mine did when I was in my junior year of college. You don’t heed my advice and wash away your sorrows in cheap beer, ice cream, and pizza for six months and take a long, difficult, and painful road of recovery using these three main foods as a crutch, and the side effect from that is a beer belly that would put any middle-aged dad to shame as well as acne that would put any pimply faced teenager starting highschool to more shame. Then your ex happens to bump into you while you are making your weekly grocery run or while you are on campus on your way to the library to cram for an exam. What do you think her reaction will be when she sees the new you that has gained 20 pounds of fat? Most likely she will think to herself, “Wow, I am so glad I dumped him because he has really let himself go. I am such a smart person for leaving him six months ago and I made a good decision.” This is exactly what you don’t want.

5. Eating unhealthy will decrease your confidence, a key factor in getting over a girl

One of the main reasons we’re upset when we have been broken up with is because our confidence has taken a serious blow. Getting broken up with as a young 20 year old guy is the ultimate form of rejection, and is the ultimate form of a girl saying to us that she doesn’t want you and doesn’t want to be with you, and that can seriously damage our ego and make us insecure. Not only does a breakup suck because we are losing a connection and relationship with someone, but it also equally sucks because it makes us insecure and we often feel inadequate. You know what makes us feel more secure in ourselves and adequate, regardless of other’s opinions? Eating healthy and maintaining a good diet.

6. Eating unhealthy and having a bad relationship with food negatively affects others around us

I had a roommate in college who seemed to have a bit of an unhealthy relationship with food. He would always complain about how he thought he was fat, but I thought he wasn’t fat at all. In fact, I thought he could gain a couple of pounds and put on some muscle (this was during my days of heavy weightlifting and obsession with bodybuilding). He still would buy “diet” food such as fat-free peanut butter, low fat cereals that were secretly loaded with sugar, and processed protein powders. It was because of these habits that I didn’t really want to be around him, especially during meal times. He was a good guy and I liked him, but it was his eating habits that somewhat deterred me. The same thing happens when your girlfriend breaks up with you, and you decide to eat unhealthy. Your friends, family, and roommates will less likely want to be around you, because negative eating behaviors can be contagious. This is the time to eat healthy, and be around your friends and family, because it is during these hard times in life when you have lost a relationship with someone you really cared about and loved that you will need your friends and family the most, who really care about you and love you. You will see that they probably love you way more than your ex ever did, and definitely way more than that cheeseburger ever did.

If you guys want more advice on how to watch your diet during a breakup, I strongly recommend you check out my article that goes over how keeping it simple can help you diet “post-you-got-your-heart-broke:” https://howtogetoverabreakup.travel.blog/2021/02/04/dieting-for-a-breakup-the-subtle-art-of-simplicity/.

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor or medical professional. Please do not take my advice as if I was a doctor or medical professional, as I am not qualified to give that kind of health advice. Please be smart, and use your best judgement when starting a new diet/health/exercise plan and consult your doctor before starting a new diet/health/exercise plan. Thank you.

5 Rules For How To React Immediately After A Breakup

Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.
— Arnold Schwarzenagger

So you have just had your girlfriend tell you “she wants to take a break” or “she wants to see other people.” Translation – she no longer wants to see you and wants to breakup. You feel devastated because you thought you found the love of your life – I know because I’ve been there, but let me tell you, it will be ok, I promise. Here are five basic rules I have used to handle myself during the initial phase of a breakup for you newly-single 20-something year-old college guys out there –

Eat some healthy food.

This is one of the most important points I can make. If you have bad fuel in your body you will feel terrible. If you feel terrible you will be more likely to make bad decisions. Those bad decisions could include eating more junk foods that make you feel terrible, and so the cycle continues. Go on a reasonably healthy clean eating plan and schedule some cheat days or cheat meals if you need them.

2. Workout

Do not stop working out all together and lay in your mom’s basement crying yourself to sleep every night. Take the time to go to the gym on a set schedule or better yet, work out at home (this is what I usually do). I am no scientist but it is a proven fact that many feel-good chemicals are released in the body when you run, lift weights, cycle, etc. This will keep your mind off the girl who just dumped you and will give you an escape from thinking about how sorry you may feel for yourself.

3. Take a break from social media

This is something I did when my second girlfriend in college broke up with me while I went on vacation for Spring Break. I was excited to actually get out of my parents house for a week and experience some freedom, but knew I had to get away from thinking about her and seeing pictures of her and her new boyfriend, so I decided to turn my phone off for the majority of the trip. Now I know this was a solid move.

4. Do not constantly call/text/contact your ex

This is one of the biggest mistakes I used to make, and guys make in general. Do not constantly call or text your ex and ask questions like, “why?” and “please talk to me?” This not only will slow the process of you getting over her, but will also make you look extremely needy and will annoy her. Women want a man that is secure and confident in himself. Do not try to bombard her phone.

5. Hang out with family/friends

This is one of the most important points because after you have physically taken care of yourself through working out and eating healthy by maintaining a consistent and reasonable eating and workout schedule, you will then be able to emotionally be in a better place by seeing your best friend or family and spending time with them. We as humans all need social interaction. There is no way to avoid this basic primal human necessity, even if you’re a introvert nerd like me. Being around your family who appreciate you for you or your friends who like you for the bad-a dude that you are will signal to your own brain that you actually are a cool, worthy person that a lot of people like. Then you will realize one day that the breakup was no big deal, and there are plenty of other fish in the sea.

Like this post? I highly recommend you check out my other similar article, 5 Things Not To Do After A Breakup, which are five things I know you are already doing or you’re about to after your girlfriend breaks up with you: https://howtogetoverabreakup.travel.blog/2019/08/31/5-things-not-to-do-after-a-breakup/.

Like this blog? Is it helping you get over your ex-girlfriend? Follow this blog by clicking on https://howtogetoverabreakup.travel.blog/blog-feed/ and click follow on this page. Want to let me know what you think? Go to https://howtogetoverabreakup.travel.blog/contact/ and enter in your e-mail along with your comment. Thanks, I really appreciate it.

Who I Am And The Goal of This Blog

In this blog I explain a little bit of my backstory and motivation for writing this blog, as well as why I started this blog and how it can be useful to you.

I started this blog to help young guys in their 20’s get over their most recent breakups. Being a young college student in his 20’s has given me a bit of insight into how difficult this can be, and unfortunately I have found few resources online that were actually legit and not chocked full of b.s. that gave guys actual real-world advice to help them through being broken up with or to help them through a breakup.

I have been broken up with more times than I can count, and it sucks. When I was in college my long-distance girlfriend broke up with me over the phone unexpectedly one day and I basically had to rely on my own judgement as well as the advice from other friends and family on how to handle it and continue with a healthy lifestyle while not letting the distraction of a breakup get in the way of other important areas of my life. There was no breakup instruction guide, there was no breakup manual, there was no breakup handbook. There was pretty much me on my own and that was it.

So I experimented through trial-and-error what was the best thing to do and best way to live my life that would allow me to move forward through my various relationships that didn’t work out or seemed to wither away. I found the best routines to live my life through on a day-to-day basis. I found the best diet and workout that worked for me. I eventually found the best balance for social life that worked for me, and eventually was on to bigger and better things, and basically got it down to an exact science. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not fun to have a relationship end with anybody, but I was able to create an effective process for myself over time. I practically created a step-by-step process to get over a breakup for myself. Since then I have dated several new girls and found out that the world is a very big place full of different opportunities, and what seemed like something that was very upsetting to me was actually a positive growing experience.

What this blog is not about is a guide to getting your ex-girlfriend back or any of those B.S. “psychological tricks” to get your ex-girlfriend to magically want you back like you see on the internet. This blog is more about moving on from the process of getting broke up with, and becoming a smarter, healthier, more intelligent and better man because of it through different tricks, routines, and lifestyle changes. The blog is about being the best man you can be, and making the best out of a situation that sucks. Ultimately, this blog is about turning a positive into a negative and growing into a better man from what seems like a very negative experience. The purpose of this blog is to show you how an experience that seemed to be the end-of-the-world and worst thing possible was actually the best thing that ever happened to you. I hope you find it useful.

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