5 Things Not To Do After A Breakup

“The only man who never makes a mistake is the man who never does anything.”

– Theodore Roosevelt

We as men like to make mistakes seemingly more and more often than our female companions. I have had my fair of mistakes during and after breakups, including but not limited to calling her 24,847 in one night that resulted to just crying in the shower alone. Don’t take that road, I’m here to tell you there is another way. Here are five mistakes I have made as well as five mistakes I’ve seen my buddies and other guys make during a breakup:

1. You call way too much even though she blocked you

When girlfriend who decided to cheat on me and throw it in my face during our last fight broke up with me that day several years ago, I was confused and angry and thought the only sensible thing to do at that time was to bombard her phone with phone calls, despite the fact that I had no idea she blocked my number. When you call her phone and it only rings two times exactly every time you call her, that more than likely means one of two possibilities: she either blocked your number or her phone is dead. Based on the modern behaviors and tendencies of 20-something year old females to be attached to their phones in the year 2019 and never let it die, odds are that she probably blocked you, so calling for the 14th time is wasting your time.

2. You sit at home and watch depressing movies

I was guilty of this too when I had a girl breakup with me who I wasn’t even that interested in. I was about to break up with her on one hot Summer night when she unexpectedly broke the news to me, and I was almost mad that she beat me to the punch. Nevertheless, I decided to watch too many sad movies before going to bed that week because I felt sorry for myself and fell into the feel sorry for yourself trap. Don’t sit at home and watch something depressing, go out and have a beer with the bros or hang out with your mom or dad, your time will be much better spent this way.

3. You try to find a rebound

One lonely weeknight during the Spring when I had just started graduate school I decided to go to the local bar/ dance club to try to find a rebound to get over my most recent breakup with an ex. I paid the five dollar cover charge and approached the dance floor like a boss and with the confidence that every girl in the world desperately wanted me. I made the mistake of approaching one girl who looked almost identical to my ex and asked her if she wanted to be my rebound. Needless to say the result wasn’t successful. Don’t find a rebound girl because:

a) You will most likely feel worse afterwards and

b) The girl you are using for a rebound will more than likely disapprove thereby ruining your chances with the rebound girl. Who knows? Maybe the rebound girl could have been good girlfriend material.

4. You drink yourself into beyond oblivion.

One of buddies had a habit of this whenever him and his girlfriend would routinely breakup on the weekends. As fate would have it, they broke up one time at one of my own weekend parties, and he ended up locking himself in his Jeep while drunk, upset, and beyond furious at his then-girlfriend. We finally got him to unlock the car, but the lesson was clear – drinking to dull the pain of a breakup is not a good strategy, and will impair your judgement to the point where you will lock yourself in your own car for hours through tears of crying, frustration, anger, and confusement.

5. You hang out alone for days or even months

This is what I did when I had my first real breakup as a young college lad. My girlfriend called and broke up with me over the phone, and the following semester I decided to lock myself in my dorm and only involve myself in the three activities of working out, eating chicken and rice, and going to class. It wasn’t until I started hanging out with my best friend and parents the next semester that I realized it wasn’t the end of the world, and there are plenty of fish in the sea. Hanging out with other people will show you that you are not lame and you are a good guy who sometimes makes bad decisions. Even if you regret a decision you made in the past whether it was calling your girlfriend like a terrorist, watching too many depressing movies, using another girl as a rebound, drinking yourself almost to the point of liver damage, or being too socially introverted there are plenty more chances in the future to find someone new, and for now you can hang out with the bros or your family and enjoy other things life has to offer.

Like this post? Check out my other similar post I made on some five concrete rules you can follow post-breakup, so you can move on from your last girlfriend and become a better man: https://howtogetoverabreakup.travel.blog/2019/08/25/example-post/.

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