What To Do When You Feel Lost In Life

The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today.

– Franklin D. Roosevelt

I was sitting on my bed downstairs and felt crushed. My girlfriend had left me, and moved thousands of miles away. I wasn’t where I wanted to be in life. Life seemed complicated – and there were no real straight-forward answers. I would spend hours at night just walking around my parent’s house, trying to find direction, trying to find meaning, and trying to find where I should go now in life. The wondering outside was kind of a metaphorical exercise to show that I was lost, and that was my only way of dealing with it. I was currently not happy with my current state in life. I needed some sort of grounding. I needed some sort of change. I needed some sort of rock to anchor the ship on. I needed a solid foundation to get over this breakup, and to move on.

I tried dating new girls – but they always seemed to turn me down or fall short of my seemingly low expectations and values. Half the girls I met on dating apps assumed my actions and intentions were to just find a hookup or use them for sex even before I opened my mouth. When I did open my mouth, they would assume everything I said was linked to the goal of deceiving them for sex or a sexual gain or conquest only to leave them humiliated. This could not be farther from the truth. The truth was was that I wanted a committed girlfriend to spend time with, have a relationship with, and to confide in. I wanted a girl who liked me for me, and who I liked for her. I wanted someone to have a sexual relationship with yes; but also wanted someone to have a normal boyfriend/girlfriend committed relationship with as well. I was just so damn tired of being judged just for being a male and not for being me.

I gave up on dating all together and decided to just focus on getting on the right track, on improving, and becoming a better man. I got up at the same time everyday, I went outside and meditated in the morning. I then would play with my new puppy, go on my daily bike ride, and come home tired but feeling good. I would then sit on the kitchen floor while my parents ate dinner, hold my puppy, and listen to the latest gossip they had to tell or what their latest opinion on the world was. I would get in a second workout afterwards, which usually involved riding the exercise bike or lifting weights, and finally eat my one meal of the day as a big supper and watch a little TV before going to bed. I would do it all over again the next day.

I really miss those days. Not only because I was younger and life seemed more simple, but because of the routine I was in and how it made me feel. Sure other things were better in my life then – my puppy was smaller, cuter, and easier to hold. I was a little heavier then and had more muscle, and it was during the Summer so the weather was better than it is now. But having a set routine and schedule is huge when it comes to getting out of a rut in life, as well as exercising, eating healthy, and overall having a positive mindset and a strive to keep things simple. Do not overcomplicate life – life is already complicated enough. We live in the age of smartphones, personal computers, the internet, and of course there are women. Life is incredibly complicated with all of these factors, so why complicate it even more when you don’t have to? During this period of time in my life when I felt so lost, I implemented several rules that really helped me feel grounded, and find my footing. I did not have a guide to do this, I just kind of followed what I felt was right for me and what helped me, gradually over time. Here are six different things I did that I thought helped me the most when I felt lost in life, to help me feel more grounded, and to give my life more meaning:

  1. Got into a routine

Many time in life when I have felt loss or not grounded I have let my routine slip along with the simple acts of getting up at the same time every morning and going to bed at relatively the same time every night. Just recently I was getting on a bad sleep schedule and daily routine, and found myself sleeping at different times, going to bed at different times, and eating at different times. I then consciously made the simple decision to get up during the day and eating during the day, and go to sleep during the night. That simple decision made me feel better, and led to other positive consequences, such as being able to get to the grocery store on time and being able to get more work done during the day.

2. Workout or exercise on a daily basis

Just getting a simple workout in every day will help ground you when you feel lost in life, and will give your life more meaning. You will have something to look forward to that will make you feel good when you get up in the morning, and you will feel good for the rest of the day after your workout. It will also reinforce your routine if you work out at the same time everyday, and will give you more confidence when you lift weights as you watch the weight grown, and just as importantly your body grow.

3. Do something fun/something you enjoy

For me, this was playing with my corgi puppy everyday, but we all enjoy different things. For some guys it may be going to hang out with a good buddy, or for others it may be cooking a good meal, watching a funny movie, etc. Now I am not saying I would recommend spending your entire day on this one activity, but spending 15 minutes to one hour everyday doing something that’s small but that gives you a significant amount of joy is invaluable. Remember – when it comes to life, it’s about the little things.

4. Having a decent diet plan

Notice here I said decent. The goal here with your diet is not to overcomplicate it, and keep it simple. Get on a diet plan that allows you to follow it, but don’t be too strict, and don’t make it too complicated. During this Summer I ate a simple diet that had me eating one to two times a day, and I didn’t put any heavy restrictions on it. During a time when you may feel lost in life you don’t want to add extra stressors and burden yourself, but again it’s good to have some kind of structure.

5. Meditation/prayer

I talk about the benefits of meditation often, and think that mediation is one of the most important rituals you can do when you just feel plain lost in life. When I meditated everyday, and still when I meditate today, it allows me to think clearer and not get lost in the complications of life. It allows me to think and focus on one thing, rather than get lost in the complications of a dozen different distracting noises, lights, and sounds. Just right now as I am writing this blog post I feel more focused and attentive, and I know it is partly due to the fact that I meditated earlier today and it is helping me focus more on writing and less on thinking about unrelated issues, such as whether I should have gone to the grocery store tonight.

6. Talk to someone who you can trust

Being able to talk to someone who is a true friend or family member is especially helpful when it comes to helping you when you feel lost in life because it is helpful to get the opinions of other people, because they often see what we can’t see. Many times we get lost in our own viewpoints and objectives, and having someone from an objective viewpoint listen to your opinions and give their own is invaluable. Sometimes I tell my mom how I feel to get her objective viewpoint, because she is wise and has lived many more years than I. Getting her opinion on subjects exposes me to a perspective I previously could not see, and allows me to see some situations for what they are, rather than what I perceive them to be. That way, I can see that sometimes when I am lost in life, whether it be because my girlfriend broke up with me, or just because I don’t see where my future is going, that I am actually not lost and may be on the right path. Sometimes in life when one door closes another opens, and just because a girl broke up with you doesn’t mean all the doors are closed, it may mean that another door had opened and you are right where you were meant to be all along. Here’s to finding ourselves and seeing what’s in store for 2021, and I hope however lost you may feel in your life right now you will still be able to see that maybe you were on the right path all along, and are well on your way to getting over your breakup and becoming a better man.

Like this post? I highly recommend you check out my other similar post, 5 Things Not To Do After A Breakup, which are five things I know you are already doing or you’re about to after your girlfriend breaks up with you, or check out 5 Rules For How To React Immediately After a Breakup, which gives you 5 solid and hard rules to follow so you know how to act and get over the breakup like a man.

Like this blog? Is it helping you get over your ex-girlfriend? Follow this blog and click follow on this page. Want to let me know what you think? Go ahead and enter in your e-mail along with your comment. Thanks, I really appreciate it.

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor or medical professional. Please do not take my advice as if I was a doctor or medical professional, as I am not qualified to give that kind of health advice. Please be smart, and use your best judgement when starting a new diet/health/exercise plan and consult your doctor before starting a new diet/health/exercise plan. Thank you.

10 Additional Workout Items I Can’t Live Without After a Breakup

What’s the key to success? The key is, there is no key. Be humble, hungry, and the hardest worker in any room.

– Dwayne Johnson

Note: I am writing this post as a kind of part of an extension to two earlier posts, 10 Things I Can’t Live Without After a Breakup, and 10 Cheap Workout Items I Can’t Live Without After a Breakup.

Earlier I did a post on 10 items I can’t live without after a breakup, which seemed pretty popular. I followed up with ten workout items I can’t live without after a breakup which was fairly popular as well, and I talked about in that post doing a continuation of 10 more additional workout items I can’t live without after a breakup, so here they are. Keep in mind these are the ten additional workout items I can’t live without post-breakup – so some of these may be a little more hard on the wallet, but will be just as important, effective, and useful for helping you get your workout in and making progress in your workouts, so you can get over your breakup with your ex-girlfriend, and be on your way to becoming a better man. Here they are:

  1. Homemade weight belt

If there was something to show you I am a true Georgia farm-boy, this item is it. I have always been too cheap (or too lazy for that matter) to actually fork out the money for a true weight belt where I can hang weight from when I do my pullups from my homemade pullup bar outside in the garage (our garage is actually more like a lean-to than an actual real garage). So, to combat this problem I have constructed a simple but in my opinion effective contraption that allows you to hang weight around your waist as you do pullups. I took an old belt of mine and got some farm rope we had laying around, and tied the weight to the rope and tied the rope to my belt which was fastened around my waist, and viola! I had engineered my own weight belt and it has worked like a charm every since. Now do I recommend you do this at home for yourself? Absolutely not. It is probably not safe, and I would recommend that you go out and not be cheap like me and buy your own weight belt. I am just telling you what has worked for me, and am giving you ten additional workout items that I can’t live without. It is important to be safe, especially when it comes to working out, and if you can protect yourself for $20, why wouldn’t you? So go pick yourselves up a cheap weight belt so you can grow those lats.

2. Yoga block

I had been searching for nearly a year at the start of COVID for a good yoga block, because I was getting more and more into doing yoga at home. I was really enjoying the meditation, and feeling the stretches and overall just feeling better. Then one day, out of the clear blue sky, I saw it. I was wondering around my local dollar store which is only about ten minutes from my house and saw a yoga block there in the clearance section for around five bucks. I was sold and it was a very happy buy for me, and have used it several times since then. If you want to really make yoga easier, then I highly highly recommend picking up a yoga block the next time you are at the store. It will give you a much easier time holding the poses, and they are actually really nice to sit on during meditation. They even can help you massage sore muscles if you sit on them or lean your weight on them at the right angle, which is a life-saver when your calves are really sore.

3. Yoga mat

Having a yoga mat will also take your yoga workouts to the next level, and are more helpful than you think. If you are like me and have tried to do yoga at home without a yoga mat on carpet, you will notice that this can be a disaster and very frustrating. Your feet will slide around, your hands won’t grip the floor, you will get carpet-burn, and it will just be plain uncomfortable at times. Yoga mats actually have a grippy rubber-ey like material to them that makes it much, much easier to grip the floor with your feet and hands and get that good, deep stretch that feels relaxing and nourishing at the same time.

4. Swiss ball/ exercise ball

These are also incredibly helpful when it comes to working out because it allows you to do ab crunches, as well as any type of chest pressing movement or dumbbell pullovers without needing a weight bench. My favorite exercises to use the swiss ball for are weighted crunches and dumbbell pullovers. These really allow you to get a full extension and range of motion and feel a good stretch and pump while doing the exercise.

5. Homemade pullup bar (ideally outside)

In my previous post on ten workout items I can’t live without, I mentioned as one of the things I couldn’t live without to be an indoor pullup bar that fits through the doorway. While this is nice and very effective, I also like to utilize an outdoor pullup bar I made myself that is tall enough so that I can extend my legs. I like having a taller, more durable pullup bar outside because when I do pullups I don’t feel cramped, and never worry that the pullup bar will fall and I will break my back. The one I built outside is attached to the garage, and it is completely sturdy and safe to the point where I rarely worry about it’s ability to hold me or any amount of weight I have attached to my homemade weight belt. If you build a homemade pullup bar at home, I highly recommend you find a guide or you get someone to do it who knows what they are doing, so you can stay safe and don’t hurt yourself.

6. Resistance bands

I use these occasionally, but I think resistance bands still have a good amount of value for what you pay for them. They are fairly cheap, and you can do a lot of shoulder mobility exercises with them if you need them, and you can also do a lot of burn-out sets with resistance bands if you are working out from home. You can get a fairly good pump by doing things such as bicep curls, chest presses, and lateral raises all with resistance bands.

7. Cheap headband

I included this in my post 10 Things I Can’t Live Without After a Breakup, but thought it is so useful, cheap, and helpful during a workout that it should be included in this list. My hair was fairly long during quarantine, and one of my biggest pet peeves was having my hair in my face while I was riding the exercise bike. Having a headband was a life-saver, and having a cheap one to keep my hair out of my face saved me a ton of frustration and headache. This is equally important when you are lifting weights, whether you are doing curls or tricep extensions, or chest presses or pullups.

8. Exercise bike (stationary bike) (cheap brand)

Ok, here is where we get to the more expensive stuff, but having an exercise bike has been one of the best pieces of workout equipment to have at home for me. Being able to get a steady-state workout in while it’s cold, rainy, and terrible outside has been valuable. Not only is it an effective form of steady state cardio, but I can look on my tablet and read, watch videos, or do other things while I am exercising and effectively “kill two birds with one stone.” (note – no animals have been harmed while I have worked out) I also have a cheap exercise bike to workout on, and do not use the more expensive modern ones with features such as group classes and exercise sessions. The one I have just has a little knob that adjusts the resistance and a seat with handles. That’s all I really need to be good-to-go. Lastly, it gives me a form of exercise that is low-impact and doesn’t take a toll on my joints, which is always a win-win. If you can afford it, I would highly recommend you get one of these to put in your house so you can have access to a cardio machine that’s effective and safe.

9. Cheap squat rack

Although I haven’t used my squat rack recently, if your goal is to put on muscle and gain a bunch of weight I highly recommend getting a cheap one, along with some weights and an Olympic bar. You would be surprised at how cheap you can find a squat rack, and for the price you pay you are getting more than you money’s worth. I got a very cheap squat rack, along with some weights and an Olympic bar and I have used it more times than I can count. If you spend at least 20 dollars a month on a gym membership, a squat rack will pay for itself within several months if you start working out at home instead of going to the gym.

10. Good workout watch

I got a good workout watch for Christmas one year and I reacted the same way as when I got my ab wheel – I thanked them for the present and thought it was going to sit in the corner and only be good for gathering dust. But I actually started using it to make sure I was on time to my new job, and would put it on before I went to work everyday. Then I eventually found myself using it for my workouts – timing my planks, timing my runs, and even timing my exercise bike times. If you can get ahold of one of these they are actually pretty useful. Mine is a nicer model and is waterproof, so I can take it in the pool if I am swimming and has a timer, stopwatch, as well as a regular clock, and can light up when I need it to. It is a simple yet effective tool that has helped me get better workouts, and I am a big believer in the power of simplicity. Along with the previous nine items I listed above, I believe a simple workout watch like this will help give you better workouts, help you achieve your workout goals, and ultimately help you get over your breakup so you can become a more rounded, better overall man.

Like this post? I highly recommend you check out my other similar post, Workout Post-Breakup – The Perfect Workout To Help You Get Over Your Ex-Girlfriend, which describes an effective workout to help you get over that girl who broke your heart. Also check out my post The Best Workout For Getting Over Your Breakup, which in my opinion tells you the single most important workout you can do to help you get over your ex-girlfriend that you probably haven’t thought of.

Like this blog? Is it helping you get over your ex-girlfriend? Follow this blog and click follow on this page. Want to let me know what you think? Go ahead and enter in your e-mail along with your comment. Thanks, I really appreciate it.

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor or medical professional. Please do not take my advice as if I was a doctor or medical professional, as I am not qualified to give that kind of health advice. Please be smart, and use your best judgement when starting a new diet/health/exercise plan and consult your doctor before starting a new diet/health/exercise plan. Thank you.

10 Cheap Workout Items I Can’t Live Without After a Breakup

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act but a habit.

– Aristotle

I am writing this post as a kind of part of an extension to one of my more popular posts – 10 Things I Can’t Live Without After a Breakup.

It was raining, and I really didn’t feel like working out that day. I was just beginning to feel like I was getting over my girlfriend who broke up with me at her parent’s house and then threw it in my face that she was cheating on me. What a great way to break up, right? Not only did she break my poor little achy heart by breaking up with me, but she also had to throw into the mixture of insult-stew that she was going on dates and seeing someone else, without me knowing. Nevertheless, I was at the point where my workouts were improving and I was growing confidence in myself, and in turn I was getting over my girlfriend. But on this rainy weekday afternoon I just wasn’t feeling it.

I forced myself to workout at home, and did my usual routine of going outside and jogging around the house to warm up. I felt the blood flowing in my body, and was beginning to feel good. Despite it being cold and wet outside, my legs were beginning to feel warm, my mind was beginning to feel focused, and I felt like I was about to have a good workout. I was ready.

I started with my usual workout that was scheduled that day, and was able to lift and get a good workout in. I was prepared and had all of the right equipment. I had my squat rack that I bought online for around $100. I had my cheap workout gloves that I bought from the nearest store in my town. I had good shoes that I know weren’t going to fail me. I had comfortable shorts, I good homemade weight belt, and a good pullup bar that I made myself all to assist me in achieving a good pump for that day. All was well and I was very glad that I didn’t skimp out on my workout that day. Things turned out well and I felt good that day and even went out to town to apply on this job I had been trying to get, and two weeks later guess what? I got the job. One good thing usually leads to other good things.

We should all know by know that working out and implementing a good, solid workout routine and plan will help significantly when it comes to getting over a breakup. But, there are also many “hacks” and shortcuts that will help you go from seeing little progress and making little gains to pumping iron like Arnold himself and having every girl from here to Texas fawn over you. In my 28 years on this Earth, coupled with another 13 or so years of experience of working out, I have experimented with many, many different pieces of workout equipment, workout programs, and workout techniques to maximize the results of the effort I put into my workouts, and fortunately for you, have found ten different cheap workout items that can be used around the home or anywhere to improve your workouts so you can get over your breakup, and be well on your way to becoming a better man. They are:

  1. Workout gloves with straps/wrist support

I have heard so many times that being a guy and wearing workout gloves somehow makes you a wimp, or weak. The opposite is true. Actually, when I find that I wear workout gloves, I find that I am stronger and able to lift and carry more weight. Somehow, we have fell prey to the assumption that “to be a man” you have to have rough, calloused hands. Well I can tell you first hand that I am a man, and I have had both rough, calloused hands before from working out and working on the farm drilling fence posts all day, and I currently have fairly smooth hands, and having smooth hands is much more comfortable. I actually have gotten quite a few compliments from girls on how smooth my hands were (don’t ask why they are so smooth). Protecting your hands while working out will save you a lot of pain, will allow you to protect your hands, and ultimately allow you to lift more weight. Need I say more?

2. Comfortable basketball shorts or something similar

You know what is my pet peeve? You really want to know? It is when I go to the gym on the rare occasion I feel like actually going to the gym rather than working out at home and seeing an old man or a person there wearing jeans to workout in. Ok, it may not be my biggest pet peeve, and I mean I have to give the jean-wearer credit for actually getting in the gym and getting a workout in. But in my opinion it is very difficult to get a good workout in by wearing denim that is choking your precious jewels alive. Seriously, just one pair of basketball shorts are incredibly comfortable, versatile (I actually have spent many a Summer at many swimming holes swimming in just basketball shorts), and they are incredible cheap. Go pick yourself up a couple of pairs and keep one in your car maybe.

3. A cutoff t-shirt

I have seen many articles online talking about “cute outfits to wear to the gym,” or stylish clothes to workout in. Well guess what? You’re not working out to show off how good-looking you are! Working out is an activity where you will likely look ugly, sweaty, and gross. If you’re really getting after it and getting in a heavy workout, then you will be covered and sweat and have pit stains that scream nasty. How cool will your expensive pair of joggers or your custom fit t-shirt look then? Probably not very good. I say the smart thing to do is say screw it all together, and just wear a cheap cutoff t-shirt that gets the job done. There are two reasons I have chosen a cut off t-shirt. One, being that if you have a shirt that you’re willing to cut the sleeves off, chances are you don’t care very much about that shirt and it is cheap. Two, being that cutoff t-shirts are very cheap and versatile, you can move your arms around and be comfortable. Even if you are skinny and look ridiculous in this type of t-shirt, who cares? You are working out to get the job done and get in and get out, not to look pretty.

4. Jump rope

This is one of the simplest and cheapest, most versatile pieces of gym equipment out there. If you are tired of running and can’t run, or if you are tired of biking and don’t have a bike or can’t bike, then jump roping is one of the easiest and most effective ways to get your heartrate up and get a good cardio workout going, plus you can do it anywhere. On a business trip and don’t have a gym to go to? Seek the jump rope. At your grandmother’s house for the holidays and want to get a workout in to combat all of the ham and chocolate? Seek the jump rope. At home and don’t really feel like driving anywhere and want to seek a quick workout to get a workout in? Seek the jump rope.

5. Boxing/punching bag

For my birthday one year I came home to see my best friend at my parent’s house putting something up in our garage. Confused, I stopped the car and got out and asked him what he was doing. He replied, “happy birthday, buddy” and showed me my new birthday present – a boxing punching bag that he used to have and now was giving to me. I thanked him and have used it many times since, and it has proved to be something of real value. Not only does it give me good workout and a new, good kind of workout that I have never experienced before but it was given to me by my best friend, and that gives me a good feeling inside. That’s how I know how much a true, genuine friend I have. I am lucky.

6. Workout shoes that don’t suck

This one is especially important, and it may be one of the more expensive items on the list because this is one item I am going to recommend you not consider price as much. It is important that you take care of the health of your feet. Think about it, they are your foundation, your rock, and everything you do movement wise almost always depends on your feet. So many times we take walking and being able to run for granted. I recently read a book about a Vietnam veteran who lost his legs, and his account is a harrowing testament to the fact that our feet and our legs are precious parts of our body, and we should be thankful we have them every single day. With that said I recommend you get a good pair of workout shoes that support your feet, and buy the shoe that feels and is best for your specific foot. Expensive is not always better. The shoes I am wearing right now cost me $10 (they were on sale) and they have been better than shoes that I tried on that were $80.

7. A pair of free weight dumbbells

Free weights are one of the most versatile pieces of equipment a man can own. Many a time I have taken my dumbbells outside and worked out outside in the beautiful weather while doing chest presses and various other squats. The ones I have are just handles that allow you to put on ten-pound, five-pound, or two-and-a-half pound weights on the sides with a clip on the end to make sure the weights don’t fall off. I can do dumbbell curls, tricep extensions, and even shoulder shrugs with all kinds of different weight. The only drawback is that I can’t load them up with a ton of weight, but that doesn’t matter to me anyway because I am not lifting with my ego.

8. Foam roller

This is more of a prehab item to make sure you can keep your muscles loose and avoid injury, but it is a cheap buy that is very useful for loosening up something tight, and some people even use this as a warm-up to activate muscles I believe. Plus, it feels really good and oddly satisfying to do when you have a sore muscle that you really want to massage and “get in there.” I highly recommend picking up or ordering a cheap one.

9. A Pullup bar

This past year during quarantine I decided to order a pullup bar that fits in the doorway that you can do pullups on. I was pretty skeptical at first, and wasn’t sure and was kind of scared and questioned if a pullup bar fitted in the doorway could even hold my weight in the first place. I have actually been quite pleased with this item and have used it a good bit since I ordered one online, and have not had it fall (except for once when I didn’t put it in the doorway correctly, but that was my fault). If you want a very versatile piece of equipment that will allow you to do any kind pullup or pulling movement, I high recommend you get one of these.

10. Ab roller/ab wheel

This is my most recent addition to my treasure chest of workout equipment and I have to say I am pleasantly surprised as to how much I use it. My mom got it for me as a Christmas present this past Christmas and I thought I would never use it, but politely told my mom “thanks” while I thought in my head that this item would be little more than something to collect dust on the floor of the workout room. I was wrong about this item too, and find myself using it fairly often and have found that it is a simple yet versatile item to do some more difficult ab exercises on that feels good on my back.

I could probably add about a dozen other items to this list as workout items I use on a regular basis and recommend, but was able to narrow this list down to ten different items that I have found to be the most useful to me on a daily basis when it comes to working out. Maybe I’ll create another post on ten more workout items I use on a daily basis that are more expensive but just as important. Let me know down in the comments below if you would like to see a similar post like this one that is a continuation of more items I work out with and like and recommend. Until then, I hope this list was useful to you and hope that these items will take your workout to the next level, help you get over your breakup, and put you on the road to becoming a better man.

Like this post? I highly recommend you check out my other similar post, Workout Post-Breakup – The Perfect Workout To Help You Get Over Your Ex-Girlfriend, which describes an effective workout to help you get over that girl who broke your heart. Also check out my post The Best Workout For Getting Over Your Breakup, which in my opinion tells you the single most important workout you can do to help you get over your ex-girlfriend that you probably haven’t thought of.

Like this blog? Is it helping you get over your ex-girlfriend? Follow this blog and click follow on this page. Want to let me know what you think? Go ahead and enter in your e-mail along with your comment. Thanks, I really appreciate it.

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor or medical professional. Please do not take my advice as if I was a doctor or medical professional, as I am not qualified to give that kind of health advice. Please be smart, and use your best judgement when starting a new diet/health/exercise plan and consult your doctor before starting a new diet/health/exercise plan. Thank you.

Why You Should Stay Friends

Don’t burn bridges. You’ll be surprised how many times you have to cross the same river.

– Anonymous

I was sitting on the floor in my usual room I meditate in every morning and felt peaceful. Everything around me felt tranquil, and calm. I was going deep in my head, sorting out all of my feelings and everything that was going on in my life and it was helping me make a little sense out of this chaotic world. The warm sunlight was coming into the room and the weather outside was beautiful. I knew it was going to be a good day.

I decided to peek at my phone to see what was going on in my e-mail, and that’s when I saw it. Seeing the e-mail from her unopened made my heart skip a beat, and I quickly opened it without hesitation with curiosity as well as a deep nervousness.

She e-mailed me letting me know she had been thinking about me, and wanted to meet up because she was coming home to visit from overseas. She left more than nearly a year ago, and the last time I saw her we were hugging with tears streaming down her small, fragile, delicate beautiful little pouty face.

I replied some time later telling her we could meet up, and in my head I was imagining what would happen….we would likely meet up in a coffee shop, it would be really awkward and I would be more nervous than anything. I would feel my face turn red as I see her walk into the coffee shop, as she would look more beautiful than ever. She would see me and would not look a bit nervous or scared – for she loved people and meeting someone wasn’t terrifying for her like it was for me. I would be trying to look my best to compensate for my shyness and face that would likely be beet-red. I would be wearing my new black tennis shoes, my hair would be washed, and I would be wearing my contacts for a change. We would talk, and she would be leaning in close and I would be pulling away, because I am so shy. She would be holding my hands, and we would be nearly kissing each other because there would be such a tension between us, but we wouldn’t.

I even had dreams about how seeing her would go that didn’t make sense, but showed how nervous and eager my subconscious was to meet her and see her again. In one dream, we were at her house and her mom and brother were there. We were around the pool, and were around the grill grilling out. We went inside, and we exchanged gifts, and she was naked at one point, and I really liked seeing it. Then she left and I never saw her again in the dream.

While daydreaming about all of this and having dreams about all of this, in real-life I checked my emails dozens of times, and I tried to check it everyday in anticipation of what she would say next – but got no reply. I checked it again and again, day after day – and still got no reply. I was beginning to get worried and found myself confused. Had she not gotten my e-mail saying I was willing to meet her and hang out with her when she was going to come home to visit? Was she just testing me again? Was I getting my hopes up and fantasizing about something that was never going to happen again? I hoped not, for the disappointment would be more than I could bear. I always seem to make these sort of mistakes. I always seem to get my hopes up about this girl for my hopes and dreams only to get shot down and crushed, like a piece of fine china going into a garbage disposal.

I finally looked on her social media one day to confirm this was the case. I had gotten my hopes up for a girl who had not seemed to get her hopes up about me. She had posted photos of her back here in the city that I live in, with her other friends who had not liked me and who had resented me. Then came the real kick-to-the-face – her most recent post was one of her confirming she had left, and had returned back to the country she was living in, and her visit was over. It looked like she was not going to come see me.

My heart sank and I felt foolish. Why had I gotten my hopes up again knowing that this sort of thing was likely to happen? Why had I spent weeks, days, and months even daydreaming about the moment I was going to get to see her again, when I knew in the back of my mind that this was likely never going to happen, based on her past behavior? I was a fantasizer, a dreamer for sure, and yet again, I had let it get the best of me and left me feeling empty, lost, and awfully torn-up.

I finally heard from her months later, and we chit-chatted back and forth for a little while. She sent me another e-mail again to seemingly bait my feelings, and bait my interest that read, “I still think about you sometimes, and would like to hear from you.” I told her I thought about her too, but our few conversations eventually faded into nothingness. I was still disappointed and felt a little hurt about it.

But I wouldn’t trade our interactions for anything, and am glad we still are on speaking terms. Years ago I dated a girl who was real mean to me, and who ended up cheating on me and breaking up with me, and as we broke up she threw it in my face that she was cheating on me as if breaking up with me at her parent’s house wasn’t enough. We have not talked to this day, and as I write this thinking about it it still hurts me to this day that she treated me this way, and that we are no longer in contact and aren’t even friends.

I can at least say this about my last girlfriend who dumped me and left the country. We have at least talked and corresponded a bit by e-mail during the time after we broke up, and I can at least call her a friend, which leaves me feeling a little better. There is not a complete hole in my heart where she used to be, because it is at least filled with a small friendship that is cordial and friendly with each other. I can at least call her and ask her how she is doing, despite how painful it may be to hear her voice that I still miss from time-to-time. This is why it is my opinion that you should stay friends with your ex-girlfriend post-breakup, and will lead to a more healthy breakup in the long-run while leaving you feeling less bitter and resentful about the breakup overall. Here are ten reasons why:

  1. It will show a sign of maturity

In grade school and middle school when you often have a fight with one of your friends or you have a “breakup” when you are that age, you typically don’t talk to that person for weeks, or even months and try to cut them out of your life all together. It actually takes true guts, character, grit, and maturity to admit what you did wrong in a relationship, and openly tell that person and try to reconcile as friends if you know the relationship is not going to work.

2. You will feel better about the relationship overall

Often people take the route of “burning the bridge” when it comes to ending a relationship and establish a relationship from then on that requires no contact with that person. Like I mentioned earlier, when my ex broke up with me at her parent’s house, then threw it in my face that she was cheating on me while she broke up with me, that truly left a sting in my heart that hasn’t entirely gone away, and that was over several years ago. It would have felt much better to me, and I would not have felt as resentful over it for a long time if she had been more cordial, and if the breakup itself was more cordial and friendly and if we could have remained friends and on speaking terms. I attempted to reach out to her and speak to her after the breakup and relationship ended, despite how hurt I was about how she broke up with me, but got no reply. Unfortunately, it takes two to have a relationship and each party has to want it as badly as the other.

3. It will give you more peace and closure

Additionally, breaking up and remaining friends will likely give you more closure to the relationship, because you can actually talk to that person about what went wrong. In my last relationship with my ex who moved away and left the country, the reasons we broke up were fairly clear – we weren’t going to work because it was had been her dream her entire life to live in another country to seek adventure and we just weren’t right for each other. Sometimes, we argued pretty heavily and hurt each other’s feelings and didn’t get along, which hurt her a lot and hurt me too. With my ex who broke up with me at her parent’s house, this kind of closure was not granted, and I stayed awake many a-night wondering, “what did I do so wrong to make a girl I loved so much to do this to me?”

4. It will help you learn from the relationship

Being able to talk and openly deliberate with people is a tremendous tool that all of us can benefit from, especially in relationships. This has been said so many times by other people that this is a cliché, but one of the most important things in a relationship if not the most important thing in a relationship is the ability to communicate. When you are able to communicate with your girlfriend during the breakup and even post-breakup you will be able to learn what you did wrong, and how you can learn from that. Maybe you commented that her boobs were too small. Maybe you did some things that may have came across as rude. Maybe you made some insensitive comments to her that you thought were perfectly fine but in retrospect, came off as mean. Talking about all of these things will allow you to learn from them, so that in the future you won’t do it in your next relationship, and your next girlfriend and hopefully wife will get a even better version of you.

5. It will help you process what you’re feeling

Being able to talk to your ex and reach closure and actually process what you’re feeling is incredibly helpful for moving on. Knowing what went wrong and being able to learn from it, as well as being able to understand the reasons why you feel angry, sad, or even jealous will help you handle those emotions in a healthy way. Maybe you felt angry and guilty that she broke up with you because you think you did something wrong. Maybe you feel sad that the relationship ended because you don’t know why. Maybe you feel confused as to why the relationship ended in the first place. Being cordial and having a friendly relationship with her will allow you to talk about these very important things weighing on your mind and will allow you to see that maybe you didn’t do anything particularly wrong or evil in the relationship, and that the relationship ended simply because you and this other person may have very different values (which is ok).

6. It will make you stronger and more resilient

It takes a lot of guts to walk away from a relationship. Many people stay in relationships because it is what they have always done, and it is easier to do what has always been done than try something new and unknown. People are terrified of the unknown, because the consequences of facing the unknown are unknown, and that is terrifying. We as humans want to make the most rational choices possible, and we want to avoid risk and pain when we can. Many people deal with this by taking the cowardly route in a breakup and cheat, trying to “force” someone else to breakup with them. That way no choice can be made, and the consequences can then be easier to deal with. What takes true bravery is breaking up with someone in a fair, direct, and cordial way, and then hopefully remaining friends. Dealing with emotions and bad feelings directly and tackling them head on takes much more bravery and guts than avoidance all together.

7. It will force you to take more responsibility for what went wrong

Breaking up in a cordial way will force you to talk to that other person about the relationship, and looking at this person like a friend rather than an enemy will likely force you to take responsibility for what you possibly did wrong. Many people like to blame others for their wrongdoings in their relationships. When my ex broke up with me at her parent’s house and told me she was seeing someone else, she blamed me for her cheating on me. She said the reason she cheated on me is because she assumed I was doing the same, so that is how she justified her behavior. I was flabbergasted. I was interested in her and only her. The thought of replacing her and or seeing someone else had never crossed my mind. Breaking up in a cordial way as friends allows each person to take the blame for what they did wrong, and know that when someone cheats, that’s their decision and their choice to be unfair to the other person, and that is their responsibility.

8. It will allow you to see the relationship for what it really was

Having open dialogue and discussion is much easier done with friends, rather than enemies. Think of the last time you had an argument with one of your enemies, rather than one of your friends. You will probably much more defensive, were much more emotional, and were probably much harder to convince of any opposing view rather than your own. When my ex broke up with me at her parent’s house and told me she cheated on me, I immediately felt attacked and saw her as an enemy. I felt hurt and defensive. When we argued we got no where, because it was her trying to prove her point and me trying prove mine. All it was was us trying to justify ourselves, rather than having open dialogue and discussion, where we looked at the relationship for what it really was.

9. “Burning the bridge” will likely come back to bite you

Many people are tempted to “burn the bridge” with their ex in the heat of the moment of a breakup. They are angry, feel attacked, see their ex as their new enemy, and want to do anything they can to hurt their ex, even if that means cutting all ties of communication. Not only are making decisions in the heat of the moment while emotional like this unwise, but burning the bridge will likely come back to bite you. Even though I wasn’t the one who “burned the bridge” with my ex who dumped me at her parent’s house, I found myself many times laying awake in the middle of the night, wondering what I did wrong and how I could have fixed it. Having these unresolved and often painful feelings that bothered me was likely more painful and bothersome than actually meeting with that person and breaking up in a healthy manner. I tried reaching out to her on multiple occasions to reconcile, but continued to get no reply.

10. It will help you see that there are other girls out there

Many people who “burn the bridge” in their relationship often and unfortunately turn bitter and resentful. They see other girls in general as their “enemy,” and avoid relationships all together. They become angry with the world, and see the world as a place that wrongs them, rather than a place that is full of wonderful things and opportunity. When a cute girl approaches them at the grocery store, they may see their mean ex in her, and quickly reject her and turn her away. When they finally do go on a date with a pretty girl, they may reject her too, because they see their ex in her somehow too. Being friends with your ex and breaking up in a healthy, safe, and responsible manner may show you that you ex was not such a bad person after all. It may show you that despite all of her mistakes, bad days, and mean things that she did she is just a person who does only that – a person who makes mistakes. You may see that she is only a girl who tried her best to love you, and despite whatever reason that may be, she was not able to love you anymore because you two weren’t right for each other. You may see that although you were in a relationship with this girl who you felt so strongly about and had such deep feelings for, there are many other girls out there who are also wonderful in their own ways, who won’t cheat on you, who will break up with you in a fair and healthy way, and who you can have a relationship with.

Like this post? I highly recommend you check out my other similar post, 5 Things Not To Do After A Breakup, which are five things I know you are already doing or you’re about to after your girlfriend breaks up with you, or check out 5 Rules For How To React Immediately After a Breakup, which gives you 5 solid and hard rules to follow so you know how to act and get over the breakup like a man.

Like this blog? Is it helping you get over your ex-girlfriend? Follow this blog and click follow on this page. Want to let me know what you think? Go ahead and enter in your e-mail along with your comment. Thanks, I really appreciate it.

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor or medical professional. Please do not take my advice as if I was a doctor or medical professional, as I am not qualified to give that kind of health advice. Please be smart, and use your best judgement when starting a new diet/health/exercise plan and consult your doctor before starting a new diet/health/exercise plan. Thank you.

What To Do When Your Girl Breaks Up With You Via Text Message

We are rarely proud when we are alone.

– Voltaire

Everything between me and my new girlfriend was going great. Ok, to be honest she wasn’t officially my girlfriend – we had been on two dates already but really seemed to connect and I really liked her. She was a good bit younger than me which worried me, because I knew in my heart that there is nothing more flakier and pickier in this world than a young girl who has not had a dose of reality and maturity yet. Nevertheless, we were texting each other a lot, and by a lot I mean for hours at a time. This was unusual for me because I am rarely attached to my phone, for I am an unwise man at many time but I do know the dangers of being attached to your cell phone, and personally find the fakeness of a text messaging, social media, and the smart phone ingenuine and one of the most unauthentic ways to communicate in this otherwise unauthentic world we find ourselves in. But I found myself almost addicted to her, despite the little voice in the back of my head telling me to watch out, because this girl was so young.

Then, I didn’t hear from her for a couple of days. I obeyed the rules of 5 Things Not To Do After a Breakup, and didn’t freak out and call her, and just gave her her space. I handled it like a man, and didn’t freak out and continued to give her space. Finally after much anticipation and nervous sweating, and after not hearing from this ghost for two days I sent her a simple text message that read, “Hey, are you ok?” I got the reply that she was ok, but she was just busy. I then asked her when she was available to hang out again, since we both had been in quarantine from COVID (she actually got COVID and recklessly exposed it to me by hanging out with me on a date, but I didn’t seem to get it but still had to stay in quarantine). She replied to me with the cold and direct text: “No, I don’t want to hang out I don’t want commitment and don’t have the same feelings for you as you do me I’m sorry.” One day she was calling me baby and telling me how much she liked me and only me, and exactly two days after she was telling me she really never wanted to see me again. I should have known better.

So what should you do if you find yourself in this extremely likely scenario? Here are my six tips for you fine gentlemen that find yourself in this scenario and who want to handle it the best way possible:

  1. Don’t text her back more than a couple times

If she was rude, selfish, and unsympathetic enough to breakup with you via text message knowing that you have a significant amount of feelings involved, why are you wasting time with this coward of a person? Seriously. There are enough people in this world who choose to be bad people, and who choose cowardice, selfishness, and malevolence over sympathy, understanding, and compassion, so why are you wasting your time with her? The honest truth is you shouldn’t, and this person does not deserve your time and you don’t need waste any more of your precious time on this girl than you need to. When she breaks up with you, at most try to communicate with her on how she feels and let her know how you feel, and let her know you still have feelings for her, care for her, and wanted a relationship with her, and if she doesn’t even have the cojones to text you back after you have been forthright, honest, direct, and truthful with her then that shows you her real character, who she is as a person, and that you need to move on and need to start to get over your breakup.

2. Give her space

When she breaks up with you over text and you reply to her about the content mentioned above, and let her know that you do care about her and would like to have a relationship with her, if she ever is going to reply it may not be right away, which is ok. She is obviously having second feelings about you and this relationship, and sometimes that is a lot to take in if you have sent her a long text message pouring your heart out. Don’t focus on her or the text message or your phone at all for that matter and go doing something constructive, and go improve yourself. If she doesn’t text you back in a few days I would say just forget about it and move on, there are plenty of other fish in the sea bro, and like I said before, why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t care about your feelings and who lacks the virtues of basic sympathy and understanding for your fellow human being anyway?

3. Find something to get your mind off of it

When your girl breaks up with you via text, your mind will likely be racing and going through every possibly scenario on why she broke up with you: “did she break up with me because I’m fat? Did she break up with me because I didn’t perform the last time we had sex? Did she break up with me because she is seeing another guy?” Relax. It really doesn’t matter why she broke up with you. Did you hear what I said? It really does not matter why she broke up with you. If she broke up with because the stock market is down it wouldn’t matter. What matters most is what you do now, and how you handle it. I know you want to text her a gazillion times, sit at home and do nothing, and cry in the shower. Trust me I’ve been there and have actually done all three of those things – and they don’t help. At all. What really helps is doing something constructive with you time, like working out, cleaning up your room or house, or even learning a new skill, such as learning to play the piano. This will do wonders and will take your mind off the girl and your meaningless phone as well as improve you overall and make you a better man for the next girl that comes along. They say the best revenge is living well, and when you get over her and find a new, better girl as a new, better man that will be the ultimate revenge for her not giving you the decency and mercy of a real, in-person breakup.

4. Know that she isn’t justified for breakup up via text message

I know a lot of girls (and guys) who have the cowardice to break up with someone via text message or even worse, ghost all together. They will think of about a million reasons to justify it. Girls, in particular, like to use more of a victim narrative to justify it, and say there are scared to break up with a guy in person because they are afraid that a guy may act out violently as a consequence and physically hurt her or put her in danger. I don’t buy this excuse, because if you have never physically abused your girl (which you shouldn’t), then should you be blamed for the actions of others, just because they are the same sex as you? Should you be held accountable for the actions of other people, just because you are the same sex as those other people? That would be like a shop owner saying, I won’t let a minority in, because crime rates are higher with minorities. Now don’t get me wrong, any man who is physically abuse and resorts to violence is wrong and I don’t condone this behavior at all, but should we as men have to pay for the actions of our fellow men who decide to take the dark path and act out wrongly or unethically? At the very least, your girlfriend could have met you at a public place where there are other people and it is safe, and broken up with you there. But do not blame yourself for your girlfriend’s wrongdoings and cowardice, and just accept that other people will treat you unfairly no matter what and try to learn from it and move on.

5. Write her a letter and throw it away

This may sound a bit ridiculous, but has worked for some and has proved to be highly effective for people dealing with their emotions. Of course, you can write her a real letter and send it to her and see if that works, as I have done before, but writing a fake letter lets you really rationalize your feelings. One of the reasons I started this blog was because I love writing, and writing is sort of a way for me to sort out my own emotions, feelings, thoughts, and actions. This blog and writing in general has helped me do that, and just by writing a simple letter to your girl and never sending it to her you can sort through many of your own in a healthy, effective way. Even one of the GOAT’s knew this himself – President Abraham Lincoln after the Battle of Gettysburg. At the end of the battle, one of Lincoln’s generals, General Meade had the opportunity to trap General Robert E. Lee’s confederate army as they were retreating but Meade did not act on it, and hesitated despite Lincoln’s order to attack. This made Lincoln so angry that he wrote a harsh letter to Meade criticizing Meade for not trapping the confederates, but Lincoln never sent the letter. The letter was only a tool to help Lincoln rationalize the situation. If it worked for Abraham Lincoln, why wouldn’t it work for you?

6. Text someone new, and let it go

If she hasn’t texted you back and she’s already sent the breakup message, chances are she is done and it is time to let it go. One of the best ways to do this is text someone new, and go out with someone new when you feel ready. It will show you there are other people out there who are good people and who will date you and who will at least show you the mercy and sympathy of an in-person breakup, if you and this new person ever so happen to breakup. The next day after this girl broke up with me via text message, I decided to message some other girls I knew and was interested in who were actually my age, and I could already feel myself feeling better about the situation, and felt like I was well on my way to the road of getting over the breakup, and becoming a better man.

Like this post? I highly recommend you check out my other similar post, 5 Things Not To Do After A Breakup, which are five things I know you are already doing or you’re about to after your girlfriend breaks up with you, or check out 5 Rules For How To React Immediately After a Breakup, which gives you 5 solid and hard rules to follow so you know how to act and get over the breakup like a man.

Like this blog? Is it helping you get over your ex-girlfriend? Follow this blog and click follow on this page. Want to let me know what you think? Go ahead and enter in your e-mail along with your comment. Thanks, I really appreciate it.

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor or medical professional. Please do not take my advice as if I was a doctor or medical professional, as I am not qualified to give that kind of health advice. Please be smart, and use your best judgement when starting a new diet/health/exercise plan and consult your doctor before starting a new diet/health/exercise plan. Thank you.

Six Things To Get Your Girl This Valentine’s Day (So She Doesn’t Breakup With You)

‘Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

– Alfred Lord Tennyson

I have had my fair share of Valentine’s days with girlfriends in the past. My most recent one I remember was with my ex who left me to go live in another country. Now I don’t know about many of you, but I actually like Valentine’s day and all of the sappiness that goes with it. I actually like getting my girl gifts and chocolate, and like taking her out to dinner or making her dinner and making a romantic evening out of it. Then at the end of the night there is a 98.7652 percent chance that you are both going to *cuddle* before going to bed, which is always nice.

I remember this one a couple of years ago fairly well, probably because it was my last Valentine’s day I’ve had while in a relationship. We had been planning to celebrate this Valentine’s simply, by having dinner at her house. I was especially looking forward to it, because I was in love with this girl and I really liked her at the time.

We met at her house and I gave her her chocolates, and she got the tacos ready and we ate tacos while watching a romantic/sappy movie on her couch while we cuddled. We even had chocolates for dessert. At the end of the movie, with sleep in our eyes we finally went to bed and went to sleep, woke up and *cuddled* for a bit, and went to sleep again finally for good. Although it was such a simple and uneventful night, it was one of the best Valentine’s days I’ve had. Sometimes some of the most simple things can turn out to be the nicest and most rewarding, as well as the most romantic.

This is the idea behind a great Valentine’s day gift for your girlfriend. So many of us men complicate it by trying to buy her expensive jewelry, fine wines, and fancy clothes when at the end of the day some of the bests things in life are simple, easy to make, thoughtful, and even sometimes free. Here are six Valentine’s day gift ideas you can get you current girl so she doesn’t break up with you, so you don’t have to get over another breakup:

  1. Make her a card

This is a simple idea that I’ve done for my ex-girlfriend before (who was my girlfriend at the time) and this one is absolutely fool-proof. I actually did this idea to ask my then-girl I was talking to to be my girlfriend, and she loved it. She loved it so much that she posted it on social media to all of her friends to see, and all of her friends swooned and thought I was the greatest thing since sliced ham. Seriously. It accomplishes and shows your girlfriend so many things at once. For one, it shows her you are creative, resourceful, and have the ability to be cute. Even if you make a cheap card out of construction paper written in crayon and it looks like a 4-year-old who just started preschool made it, it still shows you are thoughtful and have the ability to make cute stuff for her despite you being a man’s man at your core who loves beer, video games, and football. Not only will it make her swoon, but it basically costs next to nothing, which is great for all you guys who are in a relationship and are broke. Bonus tip: write her a sappy poem or message inside the card, and that will make her swoon and love you even more.

2. Buy her chocolate and flowers

OK, I know this one is not original at all and you might hate me for being so cliché, but remember what I said earlier? Some of the most simple things can be the nicest and most romantic. Did you hear what I said? Some of the most simple things can be the nicest and most romantic. Ok, say it with me now class, some of the most simple things can be the nicest and most romantic. Ok, now go write it on the back of your binder, get it tattooed on your arm, do whatever you have to do to make sure that you remember this and live by it, because it is so damn true. If you have a reasonable-level maintenance girlfriend, then she more than likely love it when you surprise her with her favorite flowers and a nice box of chocolates on Valentine’s day. This is only about a $20 investment. If you feed her the chocolate while you sit on the couch like I did, then you get bonus points as well.

3. Write her a song and sing it to her

OK, I am guilty of doing this myself to a girlfriend I had except it wasn’t even Valentine’s Day – I was just trying to win her back. I already had played guitar for her many times before and she was a singer herself, so it didn’t seem like it was going to be too embarrassing – boy was I wrong. Although my personal performance didn’t go as well as I hoped, I still think it’s an original and nice idea to do for your girl on Valentine’s Day. If you don’t know how to play guitar, it’s actually really easy to learn two or three chords and just strum those while you sing. There are even products you can buy that actually fret the chords for you with the push of a button, so that you don’t even have to hurt your fingers! This is a real game-changer. Just strum a few chords, write a couple of verses and a chorus and maybe even a goofy bridge, and she’ll be falling over you in no time. It doesn’t matter if you are good or not – she will likely just appreciate your effort at being romantic.

4. Write her a poem

This could also be combined with #1, but also is another great idea to do on it’s own. We all know how to rhyme, and making a corny or sappy rhyme is an easy and simple way to show your girl how you truly feel about her. Write it on red construction paper, maybe even glue some hearts or draw some funny pictures like I do, then seal it into a simple white envelope with her name on it and she’ll feel extra special and extra lucky to call you her man.

5. Give her a picture of the constellations (stars) at the location you and her met

This one is actually a gift my ex-girlfriend gave me on my birthday I believe, and I really liked it. I think this was what made me fall in love with her actually. I thought it was so cool, so genuine, and so original, and your girlfriend will likely think the same thing. There are several companies you can buy framed photos of these for a reasonable price I think, and they do a pretty good job, but why not make your own? For about the cost of a picture frame and a couple of pieces of paper, you can print out the constellations of where you and your girl met at the exact date, then put it in a picture frame and give it to her and she will likely never know the difference. You’re already looking like husband-material at this point.

6. Make her dinner

This is one I like doing any time of the year, but doing it for your girlfriend on Valentine’s Day will make it seem extra special. There is definitely something romantic and intimate about cooking for your girl on a special occasion, especially if you share the meal together. There is also something timeless about sharing a meal together that just makes you feel better and more comfortable with each other, which is a must on Valentine’s Day. Go ahead and make her a steak with a sweet potato or baked potato along with a salad, or go vegetarian with tacos if she is vegetarian or go with a special cuisine if she is really into different, exotic foods. The bonus part is that after dinner you will likely want to relax and sit on the couch and maybe watch a movie, and after a movie you both will likely tired and will want to go to bed and sleep in the bedroom, which is where other magic can happen…

I hope you have a good Valentine’s Day, and hope that it does NOT lead to a breakup. I purposely tried to include ideas that were free and low-cost because I am a firm believer that “the best things in life are free.” If your Valentine’s Day does lead to a breakup, no worries – you have howtogetoverabreakup.travel.blog. I will be here waiting for you.

Like this post? I highly recommend you check out my other similar post, 5 Things Not To Do After A Breakup, which are five things I know you are already doing or you’re about to after your girlfriend breaks up with you, or check out 5 Rules For How To React Immediately After a Breakup, which gives you 5 solid and hard rules to follow so you know how to act and get over the breakup like a man.

Like this blog? Is it helping you get over your ex-girlfriend? Follow this blog and click follow on this page. Want to let me know what you think? Go ahead and enter in your e-mail along with your comment. Thanks, I really appreciate it.

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor or medical professional. Please do not take my advice as if I was a doctor or medical professional, as I am not qualified to give that kind of health advice. Please be smart, and use your best judgement when starting a new diet/health/exercise plan and consult your doctor before starting a new diet/health/exercise plan. Thank you.

The #1 Mistake You’re Making in Your Workouts That Needs to Stop NOW

I hated every minute of training, but I said, ‘Don’t quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.’

– Muhammad Ali, boxing champion

I would drive to the gym every day. Every damn day and it was getting tiresome. It was breaking my wallet (or at the time – my parent’s wallet) in gas and it was costing me an hour in precious time every day. Oh, and by the way this was a time before podcasts were really popular and I didn’t listen to podcasts. I would get to the gym and train. I swam a lot then, so I would mainly swim laps over, and over, and over. I would get out and shower in the gym locker room, and it would feel good despite all of the likely infectious bacteria on the shower-room floor. I would even get my best friend to go with me at the time, and we would go out to eat after our training session and would probably consume just as much if not more calories we burned during our training session. Nearly exhausted but happy and full at this point, we would go home and play video games shooting zombies until it was dark, and that’s when we would go hit the bars.

Now you should know by now that working out is key to getting over a breakup, and I know going to the gym can be a good time as well – I used to have some good times driving to the gym everyday with my best friend, eating out, playing video games, then going to the bars and drinking (or more accurately chaperoning my best friend while he drank to make sure he didn’t get into a fight he couldn’t finish or handle). But in terms of efficiency and getting a workout in that actually gives you results and furthers you as a human being, I would say taking the time to drive thirty minutes to a gym does not accomplish this. With all of the money on gas you have to spend, all of the wasted time in the car, and all of the likely places you will end up eating out at afterwards because you are hungry as hell when you are done with your workout and driving home, in my opinion most of the time driving to the gym is not even worth it. “But Zach!” you may cry, “how am I going to work out and get a good pump in if I don’t drive to the gym and get a workout in?” I am going to tell you exactly how – you work out at home. Now don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of good workouts to be had by going to the gym, and heck, even I go to the gym sometimes because sometimes it’s fun and just like it. But, listen to my words – I mainly go to the gym because it is fun and I like it. Did you hear what I said? Did I say I go to the gym because it allows for a more efficient, easier, and effective workout? No. Did I say I go to the gym because it saves me more time and money in the long run? No sir. I go to the gym for fun, not efficiency and to be effective. I guarantee almost each and every one of you bros go to the gym on a regular basis, and here is why when you don’t work out at home you are making a huge mistake:

  1. It will save you a ton of money and anxiety, and you will be less likely to die

Like I said earlier, when I would go drive to the gym everyday, I would spend a fortune on gas, food, and even random protein powders I didn’t need (and all of you probably do this too). All of this can be saved if you just leave the damn car keys on the kitchen table and get a pump at the homestead. Not to mention it will also save you the anxiety of sitting in traffic, trying not to wreck, and surviving driving on whatever interstate you have to drive on to get to your gym. If you are one of those people who take pre-workout powder instead of actually drinking something sensible and healthy like coffee, then your chances of dying will increase if you are driving with these crazy powders in your system. You will be so jacked up that you will probably be driving 90 mph on your entire trip to the gym, and your safety will likely be thrown out the window.

2. It will save you a ton of time

Not only does your wallet take a hit when you drive to the gym every day, but something even more precious gets taken from you when you have to drive to a gym – your time. I used to spend an hour every workout on just driving to the gym. I used to drive to the gym seven days a week (yes, I would even drive to the gym on days I did cardio). In one year, I can calculate that I was spending 364 hours of my life on just driving to the gym, which is equivalent to a little over 9 full work-weeks. That is also an understatement, because I probably wasted even more time than when I got to the gym because of all the distraction of hot girls, equipment, etc. at a typical local gym.

3. Your workouts will actually be better and more focused

Which brings us to our next point, you will be more focused and probably have just as good if not better workouts at home in comparison to the gym. I can’t tell you how many times I would get distracted and start fantasizing about some hot girl I would see at the gym, and because some of the hottest girls on the planet are regularly found at gyms, this was eating much of my precious time when I got to the gym. You may also cry at me, “Zach! I cannot get a good workout at home like I can at the gym! How am I going to replace all of the equipment I use such as a squat rack, machines, dumbbells, weights, etc.” Here is my solution to you – buy your own. Seriously. It’s really not that expensive. Don’t believe me? Here, let me show you. They will pay for themselves in a matter of mere weeks. Here is a simple and not very complicated equation done in good ole’ Excel that will likely make you feel like an idiot for driving to the gym to prove it to you:

Figure 1 – Lost Gym Time

Referring to figure 1 – lost gym time, we can see even if you make just $12 an hour you are actually losing $4,032 a year in lost wages (aka if you would have been working during that time you were driving to the gym). You can actually buy a simple squat rack and put it in your garage for pretty cheap – mine was only 100 bucks. I made that money back in a week for the amount of time I saved not driving to the gym, and mind you we are not even factoring the cost of gas here.

4. You will have more energy for your workouts

You will also have more energy for your workouts. Think of all the energy it takes to drive to a gym and focus on traffic/rude people. This could all be saved for curls, triceps extensions, and of course squatting more weight.

5. You will be able to keep your workouts more “keep it simple stupid”

I have preached about keeping it simple before, but it really is a useful idea to implement in your life to make it better, and this also applies to your workouts. When you keep your workouts more simple and avoid the daily hustle and bustle of a mainstream gym, you will have more time and more focus to get your workout in and get out. You will be able to execute a simple, effective workout to reach your goals, and avoid the stressful complications of choosing between 15 different pieces of equipment at a gym.

6. You will make more progress in the long-run

Consistently working out at home will in my belief lead you to make more progress in the long-run because of all these points made above. Being able to save money, save time, have consistently better and more focused workouts, having more energy for workouts and having simpler workouts will lead you to progress towards one thing – hitting your goals, whatever they may be. So if you’re like me and you’re goal is usually to pack on muscle, or maybe your goal is to lose fat, or maybe your goal is to just be overall a more healthy person, it is my belief that working out at home will lead you achieve these goals and help you get over your breakup, and ultimately, become a better man.

Like this post? I highly recommend you check out my other similar post, Workout Post-Breakup – The Perfect Workout To Help You Get Over Your Ex-Girlfriend, which describes an effective workout to help you get over that girl who broke your heart. Also check out my post The Best Workout For Getting Over Your Breakup, which in my opinion tells you the single most important workout you can do to help you get over your ex-girlfriend that you probably haven’t thought of.

Like this blog? Is it helping you get over your ex-girlfriend? Follow this blog and click follow on this page. Want to let me know what you think? Go ahead and enter in your e-mail along with your comment. Thanks, I really appreciate it.

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor or medical professional. Please do not take my advice as if I was a doctor or medical professional, as I am not qualified to give that kind of health advice. Please be smart, and use your best judgement when starting a new diet/health/exercise plan and consult your doctor before starting a new diet/health/exercise plan. Thank you.

The #1 Secret In Helping You Get Over A Breakup With a Girl

What would men be without women? Scarce sir…mighty scarce.

–Mark Twain

I was in a rut. Didn’t seem like I was making progress, or going anywhere. My girlfriend of one year decided to break up with me and leave the country. Just my luck. Just when I was starting to like her, she leaves and not only leaves myself, but leaves my entire country and homeland behind.

I felt like I wasn’t getting over her either. Every day I would think about her. When I would see something weird, it would remind me of her novel quirkiness. I would sit on the couch every night and watch our favorite tv show we would watch together and it would remind me of her then, too. I even ate the same foods we used to eat together – she was not only reserved to my internal thoughts. She had infected my eyesight, hearing, and tastebuds with her addictive aurora. Something needed to change for me to progress and move on in a significant way. Something impactful to my very being and soul.

Then another girl entered my life. She came unexpectedly and changed my world and my day everyday after the moment she arrived. She came into my life like a burning candle, lighting everything that was previously dark and lonely, turning everything into brightness and full of happiness and excitement. She was not the girl I expected. The girl I expected to help me get over my ex who dumped me two years ago was to be planned, sought after, and predictable. I guess I needed something completely unpredictable to barge into my life and make a change to change my perspective on the world, and make me realize I was filling my life with way too many complications, and not enough of life’s simply pleasures.

Everyday, I would get up and look forward to seeing her smiling face and happy personality that said, “I love you” every time we saw each other. We would go on a walk every morning, and I would try to keep up with her, and then we would play in the yard and wrestle and act like little kids full of mischief. Then, as the day would end, she would cuddle up next to me on the kitchen floor, as I would listen to my parents speak about the days activities, and what they were up to. It was safe to say that I cherished those moments more than anything, and I would not give them up for anything in the world. I think I was finally in love again, but this kind of love was better, not full of bull, and I didn’t have to question whether or not it was real for a second.

This girl was my corgi puppy, and I believe she was one of the single most important factors in helping me get over my breakup, and moving on to better things in my life. For two years, I was stuck in the same place – thinking about her. I felt like I needed closure to the relationship, because no matter how many times we broke up within that one-year period we were together, it felt like we never truly broke up. It was the worst feeling – being stuck in no man’s land where you felt like you were broken up with someone, but at the same time questioned whether it was really for real this time. My corgi, as well as getting on a good daily routine and enjoying the good things in life, showed me that life has other things to offer rather than women and love. Life has companionship, the feeling of being outside, bike riding, and many more niceties that make life wonderful and in some ways are better than being in love with any girl. Here are six reasons how getting a puppy will help you get over your breakup, and will lead you well on your way to becoming a better man:

  1. It will show you there are other things in life besides the girl you’re getting over

As I mentioned earlier, there are many other things in life that are wonderful and nice besides being in love with a girl. When you are getting over a breakup, the paradox is that this is difficult and sometimes seemingly impossibly to see. But the truth is that you can get as much happiness from playing outside with you puppy than going and dealing with the complexities of a relationship. Now, I’m not saying you should never pursue a relationship, because being with a girl is a great feeling. But, think of it this way – when you eat at Thanksgiving, do you just eat one delicious food, such as turkey? No, you eat several delicious homemade foods, because they all taste good and the meal tastes better when you include a little bit of everything. You eat turkey, cranberry sauce, green beans, mashed taters’, pumpkin pie, etc. The same holds true with life – it is much better when you include a little bit of everything, and don’t focus so much on one single aspect of your life and let it control your life.

2. It will force you to exercise!

This is one of the overlooked benefits of getting a dog, and in particular a small, active, herding dog who loves to run and chase everything that comes within sight (corgis). When you go outside and play with your corgi, if she is anything like my corgi, she will run circles around you and chase you till’ your face turns blue and you can’t breathe (just kidding). Guess what? You have already got your cardio done for the week.

3. It will give you responsibility, which will distract you from your ex

Puppies can be a lot of work. They involve feeding, giving water, walking, careful oversight, and lots of attention to grow up and be the healthy dogs they were destined to be. Dogs are pack animals, which means they are very social and rely on social interaction on a daily basis. So if you neglect your puppy, then this is very detrimental to the puppy and she may not grow up healthy and be the dog she was meant to be. Getting in a routine that consistently requires you to give attention, time, food, and water to your puppy will force you to spend that time in a positive rather then negative way, such as stalking your ex on social media or laying in bed thinking about how much you miss your ex.

4. She will force you to go outside

When we are down about being broke up with, we tend to want to lay inside all day and be lazy, while gloating about our ex. This does not sit well with a corgi. She will want to go outside at every opportunity and every chance you give her to try and chase anything that moves. If she goes outside, you are inevitably going to have to go with her to make sure she doesn’t do something daring, like try and take on a one-thousand pound horse (which corgis love to do). Being outside had shown to increase levels of positive emotions, and in general is very healthy and will surely put you on your way to getting over that breakup.

5. You will have something to look forward to everyday

When you are going through a breakup, you might feel like you don’t have a ton to look forward to every day because you may wrongly think your life will never be the same without her. Although this is not true, when you get a puppy you will see that you do have something to look forward to everyday – a smiling little face of joy. Who could not be happy with that?

6. You will see that you often over complicate life

One of the interesting aspects of being around a puppy is that everything seems simple to their perspective. When they are happy, they wag their tail. When they are sad, they howl or whine. When my puppy wants attention, she howls. When my puppy is angry or is not ok with something, she lets out a subtle growl. We as human being tend to overcomplicate our lives and emotions. When we are sad we tend to overcomplicate life and think about the situation over and over, for months upon end. We even sometimes sit in our rooms and think about it, or sit on our bed and think about it all day and have trouble leaving the past and have trouble looking at it for what it was – a failed relationship. That does not mean you failed, that just means the relationship failed and you and your ex weren’t right for each other. That does not mean she was a failure necassarily, and does not mean you were a failure. Some items in this world do not mix, like fire and gasoline, or orange juice and toothpaste. That does not mean you need to overthink and overcomplicate the situation and your life. Sometimes, the best solution is to just let out a long howl.

Like this post? I highly recommend you check out my other similar post, 5 Things Not To Do After A Breakup, which are five things I know you are already doing or you’re about to after your girlfriend breaks up with you, or check out 5 Rules For How To React Immediately After a Breakup, which gives you 5 solid and hard rules to follow so you know how to act and get over the breakup like a man.

Like this blog? Is it helping you get over your ex-girlfriend? Follow this blog and click follow on this page. Want to let me know what you think? Go ahead and enter in your e-mail along with your comment. Thanks, I really appreciate it.

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor or medical professional. Please do not take my advice as if I was a doctor or medical professional, as I am not qualified to give that kind of health advice. Please be smart, and use your best judgement when starting a new diet/health/exercise plan and consult your doctor before starting a new diet/health/exercise plan. Thank you.

The #1 Tip On Helping You Get Over a Breakup That You Never Thought Of

If you can’t even clean up your own room, who the hell are you to give advice to the world?

– Jordan B. Peterson, Canadian Psychologist and Professor

She normally texts me everyday, and it seems like she is addicted to me. About every morning I get a text message from her, and at least get one every night when she wants to talk and know how my day went, but I didn’t get a reply.

“She probably went to sleep early,” I thought to myself as a sent her one last goodnight text as I went on to my nightly activities of working out, riding the exercise bike, and going to bed.

Then the next day – still no reply. She didn’t even reply to my text messages I left her last night. What was going on here? She normally texts me all day, and has even complained to me that she wished I would text her more. She is normally attached to me at the hip. I fell asleep and took an unplanned nap, only to wake up that night and look at my tablet again to see – no reply.

Frustrated, I did the only thing I knew how to do during that time – clean. I started with my room, which had lady bugs all over the window because of a tree outside my window that was home to a lady bug kingdom. Then I moved to my bathroom – and cleaned the vanity as well as the toilet. Then I moved to the kitchen, sweeping, cleaning with the sponge, and organizing. It felt surprisingly good when I was done, and I had temporarily forgot about this human who seemed to not gave an absolute damn about any of my feelings or common decency in general. I felt better, and had nearly forgotten about her.

Getting ghosted sucks, and may be the worst form of a breakup you can put on to someone. Everyone wants an explanation, and nobody wants to have to deal with a coward who can’t even give you the time of a 30-second text message explaining they have other things going on in their life, or they’re just plain not interested in you anymore. There are some real cowards out there who do not care about hurting you, and only seek to benefit from their own gain, even if that means destroying you in the process. This is the art of ghosting. This is why cleaning your living space is the #1 tip on helping you get over a breakup that no one ever tells you. Here are six reasons why:

  1. It takes your mind off this inconsiderate person

One of the drawbacks to being ghosting is that you’re constantly thinking about this person, and awaiting their reply – any kind of reply. The truth of the matter is that they are probably never going to reply to you. To understand the mind of a cowardly ghoster means to see things from their perspective. In the eyes of this inconsiderate person, they feel justified. Nearly every person who is a criminal and who does bad things to other people justify their behavior, no matter how unsympathetic that behavior may be. When a robber robs a bank, they say to themselves they are justified, because they are owed that money. When someone commits murder, they say they are justified, because they felt this person wronged them in some unfair way. The same holds true for ghosters. They say to themselves they are justified, because they think that may not owe you an explanation. Or maybe they are afraid of giving you an explanation because they had someone lash out at them one time when they tried to break up with someone. Or maybe they simply think they don’t deserve to have to deal with an uncomfortable situation or heartbreak, or they feel bad. Whatever messed up reason they use to justify their behavior, there still is a 99.9999998 percent chance that they are not going to call you. This means you need to find something constructive like cleaning your room to get your mind of this person.

2. It’s constructive

If you are going to take your mind off someone who ghosted you or broke up with you, it pays to at least do something constructive. Many may be tempted to play video games, binge watch a tv show, or even worse, turn to alcohol to distract them from their problems. All of these are mistakes in my opinion because although all of those are nice in moderation, when you use these to escape reality they just end up making you feel worse than you did before. Ever have a video game marathon for several hours and at the end of it think to yourself, “wow, I feel really good and am really glad I did that?” Ever wake up from a hangover and think to yourself, “wow, I am really glad I drank so much last night and this current headache feels great?” The opposite is true of cleaning your house. Sure, when you are in the act of cleaning you may hate it, but when you get done you will actually feel good you accomplished something.

3. It changes your mindset

Now that you have cleaned your room, you may go to bed feeling a little better than before when you were gloating about your ex-girlfriend ghosting you. But when you wake up in the morning, you will be waking up in a new environment. The old environment you lived in before was messy, unkept, and dirty. The new environment you now live in is organized, and this is empowering. Now you are ready to take on the world, and have a whole new mindset. This may lead you to do something else constructive, such as apply on a job you happened to see online that looked interesting. This may also lead you to deciding to eat a little healthier for the day, and you might get a workout in as well. Before you know it you have a different mindset – an improvement mindset, all because you decided to clean your house.

4. It shows you life can be as good or even better without her

When you were with your old girlfriend your house was normally dirty, and you never cleaned. This inevitably made life kind of miserable. You had to deal with dead ladybugs on the floor, a little more dust than you wanted to deal with, and a dirty vanity in the bathroom. Now that she’s gone and out of your life forever, this implicitly shows you life can be good without her, and it can actually be better than it ever was. This is key to getting over your breakup.

5. It builds confidence

I talk about this all the time, but building confidence is key to overcoming a breakup. The only reason we all feel angry, hurt, or mad when someone ghosts us or breaks up with us is because we are insecure with ourselves. We feel that someone has wronged us in some way, and we feel that we deserve better, so we get angry. But in reality, if we were secure in ourselves, we would know, and you would know, that you deserve better and this person is not worth wasting your time being angry over. We are afraid we are inadequate, and when someone leaves us this is also a reaffirmation of the lie we tell ourselves that we are inadequate, when in reality we were actually plenty enough adequate in the first place. Cleaning shows our inner selves that we are competent, secure individuals who are plenty enough adequate to take on the world by ourselves, whether this person is in your life or not.

6. When your next girlfriend comes along (and she will), it will impress her

Finally, when you are over your ex who ghosted you or broke up with you and are ready to move on, hopefully you have kept this useful habit of cleaning your house on a regular basis, and when you bring your new girl over she will notice. She will think to herself, “wow, this guy really takes care of himself and where he lives, my last boyfriend didn’t do that, this is really nice!” She will see you as a more high-quality boyfriend, and she will get a better version of you than your ex-girlfriend who ghosted you ever did. Then how likely do you think it will be that this girl ends of breaking up with you, or ghosting you now?

Like this post? I highly recommend you check out my other similar post, 5 Things Not To Do After A Breakup, which are five things I know you are already doing or you’re about to after your girlfriend breaks up with you, or check out 5 Rules For How To React Immediately After a Breakup, which gives you 5 solid and hard rules to follow so you know how to act and get over the breakup like a man.

Like this blog? Is it helping you get over your ex-girlfriend? Follow this blog and click follow on this page. Want to let me know what you think? Go ahead and enter in your e-mail along with your comment. Thanks, I really appreciate it.

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor or medical professional. Please do not take my advice as if I was a doctor or medical professional, as I am not qualified to give that kind of health advice. Please be smart, and use your best judgement when starting a new diet/health/exercise plan and consult your doctor before starting a new diet/health/exercise plan. Thank you.

10 Things I Can’t Live Without After a Breakup (Workout Items Included)

The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

Getting over a breakup is hard. I have gotten broke up with many times, and there has been a recurring thing each time – I use ten items post-breakup on a regular basis and they consistently make my life better and the breakup easier. There is a popular theme of “ten things [insert famous person’s name here] can’t live without” going around on the internet, so I thought I’d make my own post-breakup style. Here are ten things you can likely utilize post-breakup to make your breakup smoother, easier, and to make you a better man:

  1. White t-shirts (lots of them)

This might sound weird, but having simple, effective clothing that you can wear anytime that matches anything and is incredible comfortable is invaluable. A stack of clean white T’s allows me to have a workout shirt, a sleep shirt, and a shirt to wear around the house at home or when I’m working out in the yard as an all-in-one. It takes the stress out of, “what should I wear today?” and puts the ease in easy. That’s exactly what you need post-breakup.

2. Wrist-supported workout gloves, a simple jump rope, and a cheap yoga mat

Ok, maybe I cheated and put three into one, but I think these three should count as one because they are all workout-related. If you don’t have a gym membership and have little time but are in the complicated stress and upside-down world of a breakup, then having these items gives you no excuses to get your workout done. Having workout gloves that has built-in straps is a gamechanger. This allows you to have model-like super soft hands that don’t cut your girlfriend when you touch her to give her a hug, and allows you to avoid sore wrists from deadlifting a ton of weight. The jump rope and yoga mat speak for themselves, allowing you to get in a quick form of cardio wherever for a very cheap price, and allowing you to clear your mind by doing a quick 15-minute yoga routine. You will need a yoga mat if you really want to get into those deep poses, that allow you to “melt” away stress, and forget about your ex-girlfriend. If you can go outside to jump rope, those are bonus points.

3. High arch-supported insoles

So in case you haven’t figured it out by now, I am a complete weirdo and I have really weird feet to boot. My arches are so high it made the staff at a shoe store for runners gasp (which says a lot because they are looking at feet all day), and even my podiatrist said, “I have extremely high arches.” Needless to say I need some arch-supported insoles to support my super-high arch, and the ones I currently have work wonders. Seriously, it’s like they were made by a genius in a laboratory who sold his soul to the devil. They have done wonders for my feet, and I utilize them on a daily basis. Between all the running, walking, and time on my feet all day I would have a extremely hard time without them.

4. Tennessee-engraved-wallet

This one is also kind of a weird one, because actually it was a gift from my ex-girlfriend nearly ten years ago (which makes it weirder). She got it for me on my birthday, and I have used it every day since. It is leather, and has the Tennessee emblem on the outside of the wallet, and it has served me well. I actually went on to graduate from the University of Tennessee system, so maybe the wallet acted as kind of a good luck charm to get me through college, although it was probably due more to me busting my a** every day studying for six hours a day. I have never had to get another wallet, and I don’t plan on it anytime in the near future.

5. Glasses, instead of contact lenses

I am completely blind without them, and I have never really realized how easy it is to just get up and go in the morning by just grabbing your glasses and throwing them on. Before the quarantine and COVID hit, I used to wear my contacts religiously, but I started to apply the motto of “keeping it simple stupid” and just threw on my glasses in the morning and went about my day. I never realized the amount of time and hassle it was costing me everyday trying to jam a small, plastic, often uncomfortable contact lens in my eye. Putting on glasses instead of dealing with the uncomfortable contact lens, trying to jam them in my eye, getting frustrated when they won’t go in has saved me a lot of heartache, time, and frustration, and I will never look back.

6. Cotton headband (or a bandana) when my hair is long

During quarantine as you can imagine my hair got fairly long, and there is absolutely nothing more annoying then having your hair in your face while you are working out, eating, or otherwise trying to live your life. I tried out a cheap cotton bandana which gets the job done, but it was still a hassle to tie it up, and whenever I took my shirt or jacket off the bandana came off with it, which was my biggest pet peeve. I ended up investing in a pack of cheap cotton headbands from the dollar store and haven’t looked back since. They are cheap, versatile, and get the job done, and they are somewhat stylish to the point where they don’t make you look like a complete hippie.

7. Electric kettle

Ok, this one is a real game-changer. If you don’t have an electric kettle, get one. Did you hear what I said? If you don’t have an electric kettle, then please, please GET ONE. I got my electric kettle about a year ago and wasn’t sure if I was going to use it very often or not, afraid it was going to just sit on my counter as just an eye-sore. Boy, was I wrong. Now I use it every single day and it makes life about a thousand times easier. I never realized how much a hassle it was to wait 20 minutes to boil water over the stove till’ I got an electric kettle that could do it in three. Want hot pour over coffee? How about ramen? How about a cup of tea? How about some hardboiled eggs? The kettle will give you all these things in about a fraction of the time, saving you valuable time for other things such as, oh I don’t know, how about getting over you breakup? Oh and did I also mention it’s dirt cheap? Mine only cost about 10 dollars at the dollar store.

8. Decaf green tea (generic brand)

About a year ago right before our country went on lockdown and the coronavirus started I decided to make some iced green tea that was in my parents cupboard. I haven never really been a big tea-drinker, let alone a green tea drinker, but I know there are numerous health benefits to drinking tea so I thought I’d give it a try. I soon became addicted and now I can’t live without it. I drink hot green tea and iced green tea, unsweetened, and I am addicted to the warming taste as well as how it makes me feel. I highly recommend you get decaffeinated green tea as many don’t do well with caffeine, so you can save the caffeine for the coffee. Drinking decaf also allows you to drink green tea at night before bed, which is calming as well as warming and tasty.

9. Purple foam earplugs

So many of us are exposed to incredibly loud noise on a daily basis and we don’t even realize it. It has become a way of life and a part of our lives, so we get used to it. When we are routinely exposed to loud noises such as cars, trucks, music, and our roommates this raises our cortisol levels, and we become more stressed, which is something we definitely do not want post-breakup when we are already stressed. A couple of years ago I started wearing some simple, cheap $10 foam purple earplugs I bought to try and sleep better when some workers decided to do some construction outside my bedroom window and they have helped considerably. Not only can they help sleep, but they also help me focus when I wear them doing day-to-day activities because I am drowning out all the unnecessary noise in my life. It also killing two birds with one stone when I wear them because if I am exposed to any loud noise unexpectedly, I am protected and my hearing is protected, which is something I highly value as someone who loves music and who is a musician.

Side note: I recommend wearing the foam earplugs, instead of the silicone/jelly-like material. Not only are the foam earplugs a bit more comfortable in my opinion, but they are easier to put in and use on a regular basis. The silicone ones tend to get sticky and don’t really provide the best seal to actually block out noise and protect your hearing, and they can be quite hard to get out of your ears when you need to.

10. My Corgi puppy

I got a puppy about a year ago and she has been the greatest decision I think overall in 2020, and is probably the one thing on the list I truly could not live without. She is part of my overall morning routine – I get up and go about my morning routine and “reward myself” at the end by playing chase with her, where I will chase her around the kitchen and then she will chase me and try to bite my heels (she instinctively does this because she is a herding dog and they love to bite at the heels of cattle/sheep). Then when she is tired she will stop, submit by laying on her back with her paws straight up in the air, and ask for a belly rub, which she will likely receive 9 times out of 10. If she is lucky she will receive a dog treat, and at the end of the day will perform the same routine to hopefully get more belly rubs/dog treats. This is an easy way to reduce stress, get exercise, and get into a routine on a daily basis that will surely make your life better, so you can utilize all ten things in your life that you can’t live without so you can be well on your way to getting over your breakup, and becoming a better man.

Like this post? I highly recommend you check out my other similar post, 5 Things Not To Do After A Breakup, which are five things I know you are already doing or you’re about to after your girlfriend breaks up with you, or check out 5 Rules For How To React Immediately After a Breakup, which gives you 5 solid and hard rules to follow so you know how to act and get over the breakup, so you can become a better man.

I also have a similar post that is kind of a continuation of this post that focuses on ten workout items I can’t live without, titled 10 Cheap Workout Items I Can’t Live Without After a Breakup. I highly recommend you check that out as well.

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor or medical professional. Please do not take my advice as if I was a doctor or medical professional, as I am not qualified to give that kind of health advice. Please be smart, and use your best judgement when starting a new diet/health/exercise plan and consult your doctor before starting a new diet/health/exercise plan. Thank you.

Like this blog? Is it helping you get over your ex-girlfriend? Follow this blog and click follow on this page. Want to let me know what you think? Go ahead and enter in your e-mail along with your comment. Thanks, I really appreciate it.

How To Avoid Getting Drunk And Calling Your Ex-Girlfriend During the Super Bowl

A man’s true character comes out when he‘s drunk.

– Charlie Chaplin

My best friend, my brother, the guy I grew up with from the age of nine and reached manhood with, was in my car, and he was sick, vomiting mysterious blue liquid everywhere, crying his eyes out as if someone told him Santa Claus wasn’t real or that he was adopted. My heart felt for him given the circumstances.

We were leaving his favorite bar that was full of trashy women, cheap beer, and even worse dancing and he had drank way too much. He drank the kind of amount you drink when you win a war and make it home to see your sweetheart again. He drank the kind of amount you drink when it is your first night at college and you have no idea what you got yourself into. It was safe to say he had a little too much to drink, and the blue liquid that was going into his system allowing him to forget all reality was going out of his system, all over the floorboard of my small, poor little car.

He apologized profusely, and told me he was sorry and he’ll clean it up, and that’s when he starting crying, and telling me he loved me. I told him I loved him too, and we drove home to end the night of mischief. On the way home he proceeded to try and text his ex, and the only thing stopping him was my sober-as-a-judge judgement telling him not to. We got home finally, and went to bed knowing although a little too much had been drunk, we were still brothers at the end of the day, and always will be.

This story is a lesson that alcohol can make you do unwise things, especially when it comes to ex-girlfriends on the night of one of the biggest parties of the year – the Super Bowl. I know many beers and shots will be taken on this historic day and night, so here are some tips for you to help you not send that dreaded text to your ex-girl who you are trying to get over that reads, “baby please come back to me I love you so much can we please get back together and alksjalfpf ei go bears.” No, that last part was not a typo, that was the text you’re going to send if you don’t follow these simple six easy-to-follow rules:

  1. Have a sober-as-a-judge friend with you

The only reason, and I mean the only reason my best friend and brother did not text his ex-girl that fateful night of blue vomit was because I was there to physically stop him to, and I was in a right-enough mind to act on his behalf. I suggest you have a friend there to do the same.

2. Limit your drinking to an acceptable amount

Ok, I know this one sound kind of lame. But it is probably one of the best solutions for making bad decisions while drunk, and that is limiting your drinking so you never get to that point in the first place. I am not saying not drink at all, but I am saying that drinking before you get to the point where you are crying about vomiting so much might be a wise idea. It just might be.

3. Do not have your cell phone with you while you drink

Sounds simple enough, right? If you don’t have your cell phone with you, then you can never text your ex-girlfriend in the first place, therefore preventing any unwanted unnecessary drunk communication. This works better if you have other friends there with a cell phone who have promised not to let you use theirs, so you have a cell phone with you in case of emergencies. Emergencies can definitely happen when you’re in a public place too, like a bar.

4. Turn your phone on “airplane mode”

I do this all the time when I am doing yoga, reading, working out, or doing anything where I don’t want to be bothered. There are also apps and sites you can use that restrict your internet time, so you can stay focused on your work, or in this case not texting your ex. Chances are, by the time you are many beers into the Super Bowl, you will be so drunk that you can’t figure out how to turn airplane mode off, and if you aren’t, well hey, at least it’s another barrier to you contacting your ex.

5. Make a bet with your friends

Tell your friends that you really do not want to contact your ex, and if you try to and they stop you, then you will do something you really hate doing for them in return. For example, say to one of your friends, “Hey man, I would really not like to call [insert random girl’s name here] tonight, if you stop me from calling her and make sure I don’t contact her when I’m drunk, I will wash your car next time we hang out” or something along those lines. This will:

a) give them an incentive for them to keep you from calling your ex-girl and

b) give you an incentive not to call her by forcing you to do something you hate.

This is psychology at its best.

6. Last resort – call her when you’re sober

This is a last resort option, and I mean only a last resort option. When you know you will have at least one sober friend with you, know you will not be able to keep drinking to an acceptable amount, have to have your cell phone with you, know airplane won’t keep you from calling her, and also know that there is no way in hell your friends won’t be able to stop you from calling her, you may as well call her when you’re sober. If you really wanted to call her that bad, then it’s got to be for a reason, whatever reason that may be. Maybe there is something you have to get off your chest, maybe you have to reach closure one last time before letting go, maybe there was something unresolved, whatever that may be you need to address it if it’s bothering you that bad, and it will sound a hell of a lot better when you are calling sober rather than drunk. Who knows? maybe she is just like you, and she is on some random girl’s blog in the middle of the night scouring ways to keep from calling you, and deep down she needs some closure from you too. Either way, confronting the problem straight up if it’s that big of an issue will lead you well on your way to getting over the breakup, and becoming a better man.

Like this post? I highly recommend you check out my other similar article, 5 Things Not To Do After A Breakup, which are five things I know you are already doing or you’re about to after your girlfriend breaks up with you: https://howtogetoverabreakup.travel.blog/2019/08/31/5-things-not-to-do-after-a-breakup/.

Also, check out my similar post for how to act after a breakup -https://howtogetoverabreakup.travel.blog/2019/08/25/example-post/.

Like this blog? Is it helping you get over your ex-girlfriend? Follow this blog by clicking on https://howtogetoverabreakup.travel.blog/blog-feed/ and click follow on this page. Want to let me know what you think? Go to https://howtogetoverabreakup.travel.blog/contact/ and enter in your e-mail along with your comment. Thanks, I really appreciate it.

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor or medical professional. Please do not take my advice as if I was a doctor or medical professional, as I am not qualified to give that kind of health advice. Please be smart, and use your best judgement when starting a new diet/health/exercise plan and consult your doctor before starting a new diet/health/exercise plan. Thank you.

The Best Workout For Getting Over Your Breakup

Appear weak when you are strong, and strong when you are weak.

– Sun Tzu, The Art of War

I wasn’t sure what workout I was going to do that day, and it was giving me anxiety. Why was I being so wishy-washy about working out? My main focus should be on getting in the workout, and getting out. That’s what I have always done, and I knew that’s what I should do. It’s easy, simple, efficient. Maybe I couldn’t decide because I was still not over my ex-girlfriend who was still lingering around in my life. She would breakup with me every other day it seemed like – for reasons unknown to me. At this point we were basically friends with benefits. I was a mess.

I needed a workout that was not going to make me a mess, and keep me focused. I was doing better each day, improving, and becoming a better man. I was learning the piano, hanging out with my friends, and having a good time in life. But this girl was still a slight bump in the road, a slight distraction, although I was having fun with her. I needed something with no gimmicks or tricks, no “muscle confusion,” I needed something that was going to ground me, and I found something just for that.

After my workout I felt more grounded, more clear, more focused, and more importantly – more relaxed. Things were going my way it seemed, and I was loving life. It was the Summer, so I was looking forward to going outside in the pool and enjoying the Georgia heat. I felt good.

You are going to be surprised by the workout that I did that day to help ground me, to help me feel more focused, and to help me get over my ex. You are going to guess that I did some cardio maybe – that would make the most sense. It does help alleviate the stress the most it seems, because there is nothing like sweating and breathing hard while feeling your heart pumping and working out all your frustrations while on a exercise bike. But no, it wasn’t cardio.

You might guess it was weights – again, you are wrong. Don’t get me wrong, I love lifting and I love lifting weights and feeling the “pump.” There is nothing like it and I will seek it till’ the day I die. But no, it was not weights that made me feel so grounded that day.

Then you might guess I did some type of outdoor fitness, such as going on a hike or walking outside. Again you are wrong. There is nothing like walking outside and hiking that seems to calm you down, and make you feel happy. Multiple studies have shown this, and there is something to it. But it was not quite what I needed that day to help me get over this ex and breakup I was going through.

Lastly, you might guess that I did some type of group exercise, such as a fitness class, camp, etc. because of the combined interaction with other people (hot girls in yoga pants specifically) and exercise, and again you would also be wrong. Although having interaction with other people, especially beautiful young girls in skin-tight yoga pants combined with working out is extremely effective in getting over a breakup, this is not what I did that day to help me get over a breakup either.

The secret workout that helped me get over this breakup was something that all of you probably do not do on regular basis as guys. You probably overlook it and think it is something that is reserved for girls or older people. But I guarantee it is something that relaxes you, calms you down, and helps you think in a more logical way while helping you get over your breakup. The secret workout I am talking about it yoga. Here are six reason why:

  1. It relieves stress in a different way than any other form of exercise

For whatever reason, being in a downward dog pose while breathing deeply thinking about nothing other than your feet and hands touching the mat forces a ton of stress out of your body in ways lifting a dumbbell or running can’t. Not only will the stretches “melt” stress out of your body like melting butter, but it will also teach you how to breathe properly so that you can relieve more stress, and will also teach you how to meditate to relieve even more stress, and clear your mind. This is absolutely key to growing into a better person, and getting over your breakup.

2. It challenges you in ways you have never been challenged before

Can you think of any situation where you had to balance on one foot while holding your palms together while only focusing on your breath while performing a meditative chant? Can you think of any situation that forced you to just lay on the floor and cover your head and face with a pillow while clearing your mind? Chances are, you have not and have not encountered this type of exercise before, while in contrast, you probably have had to run before to try and chase your dog, or probably had to lift weight before when lifting a heavy box from a shelf while moving. Your brain will love being challenged in a new way.

3. It has been time-tested and proven

Many people think of old rituals and exercises as archaic and therefore boring and useless. This could not be more untrue. Some of the oldest practices are still around today because they are so invaluable and helpful. Take for example my parents. I love my parents more than anything in the world, but they insist on vacuuming hard-wood floors. Since our house is entirely hardwood floors save for the exception of a couple of rugs, there is a lot of vacuuming hardwood floors going on in our house. I, on the other hand use the broom to sweep hardwood floors because a) it is easier and b) it is more efficient than lugging around a heavy vacuum cleaner that makes the puppy bark like a wild little uncontrolled wolf. They insist that vacuuming is the better method, mainly because sweeping is thought of as “old” and “useless.” Although it is an old method of cleaning, it is still used today and has stood the test of time because it is so useful and efficient and simple. The same goes true for yoga. Yoga has been around for thousands of years because it is extremely useful and there is a great amount of utility in practicing on a regular basis, while doing modern forms of cardio such as riding the bike and certain types of weight lifting have only been around for a couple of hundred years. Yoga has been around for a long time for a reason.

4. It makes you more attractive

Have you ever noticed how attractive girls who do yoga are? Not only are the yoga pants hot, but being able to contort your body into sexy positions is also an incredibly attractive skill, so what do you think that says about you when you can do it?

5. It gives you confidence in a different way

Sure, getting jacked and deadlifting 500 pounds makes you a more confident man, or being able to run a marathon likely builds confidence too. But being able to hold your body and contort it in certain positions, as well as being able to hold extremely difficult poses that look so simple, so easy, builds a new type of confidence. Meditation at the end of your yoga session also clears your mind, and gives you a type of clear-minded confidence that says, “I know who I am and what my purpose on this Earth is.” That’s the kind of confidence that feels better than good.

6. You don’t need any equipment – so you have no excuses

One of the greatest things about yoga is that anybody, including you, can start right now. Have some empty space on your living room floor? Great. Have some space with hardwood floors in your house where you can be alone for 15 minutes? Even better (clean, hardwood floors makes it easier for your hands and feet to grip the floor so you are not sliding around like your a small car driving on a large patch of ice). You really can’t make excuses and say, “well not today, I really can’t make it to the gym,” or “well it’s raining outside, I can’t run or ride my bike on this day.” So with no excuses and no equipment needed, what are you waiting for? Get to it, you have an ex-girlfriend to get over.

Need some more workout advice on how to get over a breakup? Check out one of my more popular articles, Workout Post-Breakup – The Perfect Workout To Help You Get Over Your Ex-Girlfriend – https://howtogetoverabreakup.travel.blog/2021/02/05/workout-post-breakup-the-perfect-workout-to-help-you-get-over-your-ex-girlfriend/.

Need some tips/rules on how to maintain your diet during a breakup? Check out my posts on the importance of a simple diet during a breakup: https://howtogetoverabreakup.travel.blog/2021/02/04/dieting-for-a-breakup-the-subtle-art-of-simplicity/ and my post on some basic rules for following a diet during a breakup: https://howtogetoverabreakup.travel.blog/2019/08/26/diet-for-a-breakup-why-you-should-watch-your-diet-during-this-time/.

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor or medical professional. Please do not take my advice as if I was a doctor or medical professional, as I am not qualified to give that kind of health advice. Please be smart, and use your best judgement when starting a new diet/health/exercise plan and consult your doctor before starting a new diet/health/exercise plan. Thank you.

Like this blog? Is it helping you get over your ex-girlfriend? Follow this blog by clicking on https://howtogetoverabreakup.travel.blog/blog-feed/ and click follow on this page. Want to let me know what you think? Go to https://howtogetoverabreakup.travel.blog/contact/ and enter in your e-mail along with your comment. Thanks, I really appreciate it.

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