Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
– Mark Twain
We were sitting at the lunch table, and I watched as other people mocked him, humiliated him, and called him names. They were being mean to him, for absolutely no reason other than he looked a little different than everybody else, and didn’t seem to fit in. There was one girl who was particularly nasty in particular, calling him names, and telling him blatant insults as he just sat at the lunch table, and didn’t really say anything.
I could see the hurt in his eyes, and in his soul. I could tell what they were doing deeply hurt him. I could tell this because I was there, and had been bullied many times. Many times I had been picked on, because I was a little different. Because I was skinny, long, and lanky. Because I had blonde hair, blue eyes, and glasses. Because I looked just plain awkward, and my body was awkward, and I was painfully quiet and shy. I was so shy that it terrified me to even speak my emotions or feelings, or even what I thought. But I knew this was a moment I had to stand up, to say something, to stand up for what’s right.
“Leave him alone,” I sheepishly said.
This did not go over well, and the girl who was the main ringleader of the bullying looked at me like a snake. Now I was the target. This was not good.
Nevertheless, it seemed to make the head bully and her bully group back down. Bullies do not like to be confronted, and they especially don’t like to be confronted when there is more than one person involved. Now she was not only standing against the kid she was bullying – she was also standing against me.
She eventually backed down, and I have remembered this moment for the rest of my life. The kid I was taking up for and I never really became friends, but I knew he probably deeply appreciated someone at least took up for him. I remember this moment not because bullying at my grade school was a particularly rare incident – it happened all the time. I remember this moment not because I was really good friends with this person I took up for. I remember this moment because I stood up for what’s right, and am deeply proud that I did that today. I only wish I would have done it more often.
Another time I was in gym class with another kid who was particularly small, insecure, and vulnerable. This was perfect for bullies as this made him a perfect target, so they made a game of it. The game was run around the gym and hit him as many times as they could with dodgeballs and basketballs (particularly aiming for the face) until he cried. They were very good at this game, and despite the kid doing his best to act tough, strong, and unaffected he could not hold back the inevitable tears that ensued after getting hit with ball after ball, time and time again.
Unfortunately, our gym teacher did not take up for this kid who was getting bullied, and only decided to speak up when his tears started flowing and his emotions came out. I don’t know if the gym teacher genuinely felt a little bad for the kid who was in tears, or was just afraid some other adult such as the principal would walk in the room and this would land him in trouble for letting his students bully another classmate, but the gym teacher eventually and reluctantly said, “all right all right, stop picking on (kid who was being bullied). Instead, if you want someone to bully, why don’t you pick on this guy.” He said this as he pointed directly at me. Not only were the students bullies, but also the teacher was a bully. Although the bullies turned their attention to me, the main regret I have about this time was that I didn’t take up for the kid being bullied before, like I had taken up for the kid who was being bullied at our lunch table.
It’s not always easy to stand up for what’s right and what is forthright and the right thing to do, but it is one of the most important things you can do in life. It seems like standing up to bullies and people who decide to bring others down is even harder nowadays, with the advent of social media. I have recently seen events in the news where I saw one particular person being bullied to the point where this person was almost in tears -this hurt me – a lot. When I saw this girl talk about being bullied to the point where she was shaking and almost in tears, I saw myself. I saw myself getting bullied and having basketballs and dodgeballs thrown at my head when I was not looking. I saw myself getting called out by the coward gym teacher, who actively encouraged other kids to pick on me. I saw myself trying to hold back tears many times at school when I was hurt or being treated unfairly. I also not only saw myself, but I saw these kids who were also bullied, including the one I took up for and the one I deeply regret not taking up for in gym class. I was always regret not taking up for him, and not doing the right thing in that moment.
It is not easy standing up for what’s right. You expose yourself to attack. You make yourself vulnerable. You make other people resent you, and even hate you on some levels. They will call you names. They will try to humiliate you. They will harass you. But all of this is worth it. It is worth it to stand up for what’s right. Here’s why:
- It shows you respect yourself
Too many of us are insecure, and doubt ourselves. There is something called “imposter syndrome,” where you doubt your talents and who you are as a person, and view yourself as an “imposter” when you are around other people who are highly capable. I had this when I was getting my MBA at University. I was around a ton of highly capable, hardworking, intelligence people and felt like a fraud. I didn’t feel like I belonged, I didn’t feel like I should be there. I was doing projects with classmates who were working at companies in high-ranking positions. I was working with engineers who had everything together, who seemed smart, who seemed capable, and then there was just silly old me. When you stand up for what’s right, it shows you respect yourself and your values, and who you are as a person and what that represents. It increases your confidence in yourself, so that you don’t get imposter syndrome like I did.
2. You will be proud you did it
When I took up for that kid who was being bullied at the lunch table, I was scared to even say a word, let alone speak up and do what was right. Now, I can still remember it to this day because I am so glad I did it, and it makes me proud of myself and glad to know that I actually took the leap of faith and did something right and positive for somebody. I only wish I would have taken up for more kids that were bullied during that time.
3. You will become stronger
I talk about working out and dieting to get physically stronger on this blog a lot, but there are actually many things you can do to get mentally strong as well. Speaking up when there are bullies and doing the right thing makes you mentally stronger, and shows others you are physically strong too. Although lifting weights and being big and strong can increase your mental toughness and mental strength, it takes a lot of cojones to stand up for what you actually believe in, and stand up for what it right under a lot of scrutiny. Facing humiliation and rejection may be more painful than it is to lift any amount of weight in the gym. That is a fact.
4. It will build character
The unfortunate truth about our world is that many of us have forgotten about virtues and character traits that make us good humans and have traded this for immediate gratification and lust. Many of us have abandoned religion, which is ok, I believe you should be able to practice whatever religion or do whatever spiritual practice you want to practice, but unfortunately many have lost the lessons of virtue that go along with it. Standing up for what’s right in the face of tyranny will show others you are a man of character, not a man of instant gratification and quick fixes to your own desires. It will show your own self that you are a man of character and are willing to stick up for what’s right, and it will instill in you courage and bravery.
5. You will also likely have courage in other areas of your life
I think standing up for what’s right and facing those bullies on that day in grade school was one of many things that have instilled the quality of bravery I have today. Now don’t get me wrong, I am just as a scaredy-cat as any other man, but since I know I have done brave things in the past such as stand up for what’s right and stand up to bullies I have more courage to do other difficult things in the present that may require bravery. Take for example when my girlfriend broke up with me shortly after Thanksgiving, and I was down about it and thought it was the end of the world. I decided to do something brave – I decided to get on with my life, not sulk about the breakup, and find a new girlfriend (which is one of the most effective ways of getting over a breakup). While at University, I saw a really cute short blonde girl who was leaving the library one day, and I used my bravery to approach her and ask for her phone number. We ended up going on a date and hitting it off, and dated and had a close relationship. Although she ended up breaking up with me because she moved to another country and we were too different, I am glad we met, and dating her helped me get over my previous girlfriend. This all happened because of my accumulation of bravery.
6. Your life will have deeper meaning
I think one of the greatest things in life is having meaning. It makes everything richer, more worthwhile, and it makes all the pain and hardship you go through worth it. I played football when I was in high school, and there was a lot of pain associated with that. Practices were long, hot, sweaty, and brutal. I had headaches everyday when I came home from practice, and my head would throb from the moment I got home to the point my head hit the pillow and I was in bed. I injured my knee at one point and had to be on crutches, and even have scars on my chest, back, and shoulders today from my shoulder pads rubbing against my acne and creating permanent scars that will never go away. I even have a toe that looks a little disfigured, because somebody accidentally stomped on it during practice while doing a drill. But I wouldn’t change any of it, and I am glad I did it. I am glad I did what my heart called me to do, and I am glad I did something meaningful with a community of other people. I am glad I did something that was true to my heart, that was true to my mind, despite the pain and suffering that came along with it. I am glad I showed enough bravery to do hard things knowing the outcome would be difficult, because it shows the world that despite whatever evil or tyranny decides to rear its head and attack, I will always be there to face it valiantly and with the upmost courage, because I will always try to stand up for what is right and be a better man, even if that means facing adversity in the process.
Like this post? I highly recommend you check out my other similar post, 5 Things Not To Do After A Breakup, which are five things I know you are already doing or you’re about to after your girlfriend breaks up with you, or check out 5 Rules For How To React Immediately After a Breakup, which gives you 5 solid and hard rules to follow so you know how to act and get over the breakup like a man.
Like this blog? Is it helping you get over your ex-girlfriend? Follow this blog and click follow on this page. Want to let me know what you think? Go ahead and enter in your e-mail along with your comment. Thanks, I really appreciate it.
Disclaimer: I am not a doctor or medical professional. Please do not take my advice as if I was a doctor or medical professional, as I am not qualified to give that kind of health advice. Please be smart, and use your best judgement when starting a new diet/health/exercise plan and consult your doctor before starting a new diet/health/exercise plan. Thank you.
How To Get Over a Breakup 