Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year.
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
Many of us are on this post-breakup/post-quarantine/trying-to-live-healthy routine with one goal in mind – to be become a better man. But make no mistake about it – life is hard. Life throws us curveballs we didn’t expect. One day our girlfriend is telling us how much she likes us, and the next she is telling us how she has had sex three times in one week with another person (yes, this did happen to me). So, like a ship set sail for the great unknown, we must have a map to guide us by. We must have a sail to carry us towards our destination. But we must also be able to measure our efforts to know that we have made progress, to know that we are moving towards toward the great unknown, and to know that we are one step closer to getting over a breakup.
Take for example Christopher Columbus, one of the oldest explorers we learned about in grade school. He was similarly in the same boat we are all in when we are trying to get over a breakup – he faced rejection. He tried to get the funds necessary to set sail across the Atlantic, to find a new trade route to the Indies, but was shot down in the most blunt, direct, but possibly humiliating of ways. No one likes to be rejected, not even Christopher Columbus. But, like a true man who seeks to get over a breakup, he found the funds and means necessary to accomplish his mission through another way -through the Spanish – King Ferdinand and Queen Isabella. Just like how it is to get over a breakup, Columbus set sail through the great unknown. He had no idea what was out there, what would happen to him, or who he might encounter. But in all of that chaos, he did have one thing to guide him towards the light and towards the right track – his compass.
I hope to be your compass when it comes to getting over a breakup, and hope to give you six measures to tell you if you had a good day, and if you are on your way to getting over a breakup. We all know what happened at the end of Columbus’ voyage and we all know the old story from grade school – Columbus was more successful than he possibly ever expected in his voyage and found the New World. Like Columbus’ voyage, I hope your voyage with your breakup is successful too, and hope these six measures will get you there more easily, and act as a compass to your journey. Here they are:
- Get up and don’t lay in bed all day (stick to a schedule)
This might sound simple to do and may sound like I am setting the expectations low for what a good day looks like when you are getting over a breakup, but if you have ever tried to get over a breakup, you know this can be hard. Your girlfriend tries to breakup with you, or in my case throws it in your face that she is cheating on you and then breaks up with you at her parent’s house, then you will probably go home feeling pretty lousy. Feeling lousy leads to going to bed late. Going to bed late leads to getting up late, which is not good. The goal here is to at least get out of bed, and get moving. Then other good things will come my friend.
2. Eat something healthy
Now when you’re in the beginning stages of getting over a breakup, I don’t expect you to be a five-star-chef everyday. But I would encourage you to at least get some healthy food in you, just don’t set your expectations too high. For example, eating a well-balanced meal at least once a day or maybe three square meals a day with some protein, carbs, and fats will keep you grounded, so you don’t resort to eating junk food or not eating at all which will make you feel worse. Use this time to enjoy yourself, and use this time to enjoy your food. Think of all the times when you were dating you girlfriend, and maybe you couldn’t enjoy your food because you two were arguing, or you were stressed that she might break up with you. When I dated my ex, we used to eat at her apartment. The only problem was her apartment smelled awful. She loved animals and had a cat and a small dog that kind of looked like a rat but we’ll call the dog a dog. The problem with the animals was that they loved to use the bathroom on the floor. The bigger problem with that was that my ex was often too lazy or too preoccupied to clean it up. When we broke up and when I got to eat food at home alone where it didn’t smell like a truck-stop bathroom, I was so thankful.
3. Get a workout in – cardio, weights, yoga, meditation, or a mix of these
Just getting a simple, effective workout in sometime throughout the day will work wonders. It will take you from feeling lousy to feeling heroic (especially if you listen to epic soundtracks from superhero movies while you work out like I do). Do some cardio and weights, or do a yoga session, or just take the time to meditate for eight minutes. Knowing that you took the time to do this will add structure, and will make you feel like you accomplished something.
4. Have “quiet time” in a sacred place (if you can find one)
Think of this as being alone and thinking. When my ex decided to dump me and simultaneously tell me she was cheating on me at the same time, that hurt. A lot. So I went home and ate dinner and went to bed. That week I had a lot of thinking to do – what I wanted for me, what I wanted out of life, what was important to me. I would sit under a tree in my parent’s yard by an old rock wall that was built hundreds of years ago by settlers in Georgia. It was peaceful there, almost spiritual, and it still is peaceful to this day. Maybe there is something holy about that place, that spot, because of all the work that was done there to accomplish building that rock wall. Building that rock wall which is hundreds of yards long and spans several acres across must have been a living hell to put together. But they did it, and sitting by it under that tree in my parent’s yard hundreds of years later gave me perspective on what it means to face true hardship in life, and what it truly means to love. I thought about it and came to the realization – if someone was willing to cheat on me and break up with me, they may have never really loved me in the first place.
5. Hang out with a goofy friend
There is nothing like a goofy friend, and I have the goofiest of them. Even though I don’t really hang out with my friends anymore because our paths in life have veered off in different directions, I still miss my best friend, who is the goofiest kid I know. He could make about anybody laugh. I feel like he could even make the meanest, most sober judge laugh at anything in the world. I have another friend who I would hang out with after said-breakup mentioned above, and we would go to the movies together and laugh at one particular franchise that is supposed to be not funny. It was always so ridiculous to us that we would laugh, and it made me forget about that girl who made me feel like a joke. It’s hard to feel like a joke when you are the one who’s laughing.
6. Be thankful for what you have and what you have been given
This is something I have recently discovered and I am still trying to do. Practicing gratitude has been shown to produce happiness, and make people feel overall happier. I try to do this when I do my daily meditation, and thank God for what has been given to me. I try to be thankful that I have my legs, and I can go outside and run and play with my puppy. I try to be thankful I have eyes, and can see all of the beautiful things in this world that exist each and every day. I try to be thankful that I can go and do what I want to do, in a world that allows me such freedoms. Do this daily and who knows? Maybe in time you will find yourself being thankful that you were in that relationship, because it taught you a few very important life lessons like it did me. Maybe it will give you the perspective to see how an old rock wall can be such a gift, and such a valuable and timeless teacher, and how you can withstand the test of time too, and get over your breakup.
Like this post? I highly recommend you check out my other similar post, 5 Things Not To Do After A Breakup, which are five things I know you are already doing or you’re about to after your girlfriend breaks up with you, or check out 5 Rules For How To React Immediately After a Breakup, which gives you 5 solid and hard rules to follow so you know how to act and get over the breakup like a man.
Like this blog? Is it helping you get over your ex-girlfriend? Follow this blog and click follow on this page. Want to let me know what you think? Go ahead and enter in your e-mail along with your comment, or just comment down below on your thoughts, methods, and strategies for how you get over a breakup. Thanks, I really appreciate it.
Disclaimer: I am not a doctor or medical professional. Please do not take my advice as if I was a doctor or medical professional, as I am not qualified to give that kind of health advice. Please be smart, and use your best judgement when starting a new diet/health/exercise plan and consult your doctor before starting a new diet/health/exercise plan. Thank you.
How To Get Over a Breakup 