Women are made to be loved, not understood.
– Oscar Wilde, Irish poet
Remember when you used to come over and swim in my parent’s pool? Those days were the hottest I can remember, but your beauty compensated for the sweltering heat. I would wait for you to get off work and get done nannying children, and you would come over. I would try to hug you, and you would reluctantly hug me back – you didn’t like human affection, but our hugs felt good to me nevertheless. Feeling your skin against mine, as well as feeling your body close to me helped me feel wanted by you, and that was the greatest feeling in the world.
I got in the pool with you, and felt nervous. Do you remember how nervous I was? Beautiful girls have always made me nervous, and you were no exception to that rule. On top of that you were also wearing a bathing suit, do you remember what you would wear to my house? It was one of those new bathing suits I had never seen before. The kind that shows off girls’ hips and makes men melt like ice cream. You made me melt like homemade vanilla. You wore one of those and it made my heart feel like it was working too hard. You made me sweat, you made me feel like there were butterflies flying around my stomach, going crazy. I was crazy for you, and you knew it.
“When were we going to kiss?” I wondered. I hadn’t seen you in so long. We had been broken up for months, do you remember that? Did you feel the same anticipation that I felt when we saw each other again, when you came back over to my house on that hot summer day?
You loved to drink, I didn’t. You were kind of a party girl, and I was kind of a lonely shy hermit that lived in the country. Just calling someone on the phone made me terrified, and now here we were – me with you while you are sitting here looking so attractive, so cute, while I am sitting here like a nervous bumbling little kid.
You tried to get me to drink, and I said no. I didn’t really like to drink, and did not want to ruin the memory or induce any kind of hallucinations or fuzziness to the memories we were making – I wanted to savor every moment clearly and be in my most clear state of mind to remember it. I had missed you too much to dampen this moment with alcohol.
Nevertheless, you got me to drink beer, and it tasted intriguing, but I knew it was not as intriguing as your pout lips. I kept thinking to myself, “when is she going to let me kiss her?” Lord, I was so nervous. It had been so long since we had kissed, and I had missed kissing you. I don’t know if it was the alcohol or the anticipation or the allure between man and woman, but you finally kissed me and it was like a heaven I cannot describe.
I had drunk more than I wanted to under your peer pressure because I did not want you to get mad at me and call me lame. I was a shy boy and you were very outgoing and all your friends thought you were fun, and I did not want you to think of me as a shy lame boy. I drank some wine of yours I believe, and the next thing I knew, we were having sex on my parents couch. There was just only one problem – my mom was home and she was upstairs.
This is a prime example of bad decision-making, but this was one of the things I loved about you. You were full of adventure, you were always willing to push the ticket. You were always willing to live life on edge, and you did things that absolutely surprised me and made me speechless sometimes. This was one of those times.
All I can remember was that it felt really, really good and I was feeling really good. I am a lightweight and never drink and it probably did not take very much to get me drunk, and at some point the better part of decision-making in my brain kicked in and I took us upstairs to finish, before my mom came downstairs and had a heart attack.
I knew I had fallen back in love with you at this point. We had been broken up and I felt like I was getting over our breakup, but I think this day made me fall in back love with you, or at least remind me that I still loved you and was still not over your pretty green eyes, blonde hair, or cute, petite body. I was definitely breaking the rules of getting over a breakup with you, but I didn’t care. I had missed you too much and I was so tired of getting broke up with by other girls. I was sick of it. I was just ready to be accepted. I wanted you and only you and wanted to spend as much time as I could with you before you were going to leave the country in a few months and never come back.
We realized we were hungry and went and got pizza. When I brought back the pizza to the car from the delivery place you took a picture of me and called me your “angel.” I really liked that and miss that.
We got home and ate pizza that night and watched TV together, and it was nice. I felt like you were my girlfriend again, even though in the back of my mind I knew you weren’t, and could not be. You finally had to go home, and I was sad to see you go so soon – it felt like you just got there.
I wished you could have stayed with me forever. I miss you now, and still wish you were with me, but life had other plans. You were called to go somewhere else, and I stayed here and hugged you one last time before you left, and told you goodbye as tears streamed down your cute, small, pretty face from your green eyes. I don’t know why I still miss you – it’s been almost three years since we have seen each other last, but maybe it’s because of days like those hot Summer days that we used to have. Maybe it’s because of some of those hot Summer days when the weather was hot, food tasted good, and when I felt like I was truly in love with you and you were my girl, and always would be my girl in the bottom of my heart.
Like this post? I highly recommend you check out my other similar sappy-as-homemade-Vermont-maple syrup emotional post, Lust. I also recommend you check out my other slightly sappy post, Being Lucky.
Having trouble getting over your girlfriend like me? Check out my posts 5 Things Not To Do After A Breakup, which are five things I know you are already doing or you’re about to after your girlfriend breaks up with you, or check out 5 Rules For How To React Immediately After a Breakup, which gives you 5 solid and hard rules to follow so you know how to act and get over the breakup like a man.
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How To Get Over a Breakup 