If you can’t even clean up your own room, who the hell are you to give advice to the world?
– Jordan B. Peterson, Canadian Psychologist and Professor
She normally texts me everyday, and it seems like she is addicted to me. About every morning I get a text message from her, and at least get one every night when she wants to talk and know how my day went, but I didn’t get a reply.
“She probably went to sleep early,” I thought to myself as a sent her one last goodnight text as I went on to my nightly activities of working out, riding the exercise bike, and going to bed.
Then the next day – still no reply. She didn’t even reply to my text messages I left her last night. What was going on here? She normally texts me all day, and has even complained to me that she wished I would text her more. She is normally attached to me at the hip. I fell asleep and took an unplanned nap, only to wake up that night and look at my tablet again to see – no reply.
Frustrated, I did the only thing I knew how to do during that time – clean. I started with my room, which had lady bugs all over the window because of a tree outside my window that was home to a lady bug kingdom. Then I moved to my bathroom – and cleaned the vanity as well as the toilet. Then I moved to the kitchen, sweeping, cleaning with the sponge, and organizing. It felt surprisingly good when I was done, and I had temporarily forgot about this human who seemed to not gave an absolute damn about any of my feelings or common decency in general. I felt better, and had nearly forgotten about her.
Getting ghosted sucks, and may be the worst form of a breakup you can put on to someone. Everyone wants an explanation, and nobody wants to have to deal with a coward who can’t even give you the time of a 30-second text message explaining they have other things going on in their life, or they’re just plain not interested in you anymore. There are some real cowards out there who do not care about hurting you, and only seek to benefit from their own gain, even if that means destroying you in the process. This is the art of ghosting. This is why cleaning your living space is the #1 tip on helping you get over a breakup that no one ever tells you. Here are six reasons why:
- It takes your mind off this inconsiderate person
One of the drawbacks to being ghosting is that you’re constantly thinking about this person, and awaiting their reply – any kind of reply. The truth of the matter is that they are probably never going to reply to you. To understand the mind of a cowardly ghoster means to see things from their perspective. In the eyes of this inconsiderate person, they feel justified. Nearly every person who is a criminal and who does bad things to other people justify their behavior, no matter how unsympathetic that behavior may be. When a robber robs a bank, they say to themselves they are justified, because they are owed that money. When someone commits murder, they say they are justified, because they felt this person wronged them in some unfair way. The same holds true for ghosters. They say to themselves they are justified, because they think that may not owe you an explanation. Or maybe they are afraid of giving you an explanation because they had someone lash out at them one time when they tried to break up with someone. Or maybe they simply think they don’t deserve to have to deal with an uncomfortable situation or heartbreak, or they feel bad. Whatever messed up reason they use to justify their behavior, there still is a 99.9999998 percent chance that they are not going to call you. This means you need to find something constructive like cleaning your room to get your mind of this person.
2. It’s constructive
If you are going to take your mind off someone who ghosted you or broke up with you, it pays to at least do something constructive. Many may be tempted to play video games, binge watch a tv show, or even worse, turn to alcohol to distract them from their problems. All of these are mistakes in my opinion because although all of those are nice in moderation, when you use these to escape reality they just end up making you feel worse than you did before. Ever have a video game marathon for several hours and at the end of it think to yourself, “wow, I feel really good and am really glad I did that?” Ever wake up from a hangover and think to yourself, “wow, I am really glad I drank so much last night and this current headache feels great?” The opposite is true of cleaning your house. Sure, when you are in the act of cleaning you may hate it, but when you get done you will actually feel good you accomplished something.
3. It changes your mindset
Now that you have cleaned your room, you may go to bed feeling a little better than before when you were gloating about your ex-girlfriend ghosting you. But when you wake up in the morning, you will be waking up in a new environment. The old environment you lived in before was messy, unkept, and dirty. The new environment you now live in is organized, and this is empowering. Now you are ready to take on the world, and have a whole new mindset. This may lead you to do something else constructive, such as apply on a job you happened to see online that looked interesting. This may also lead you to deciding to eat a little healthier for the day, and you might get a workout in as well. Before you know it you have a different mindset – an improvement mindset, all because you decided to clean your house.
4. It shows you life can be as good or even better without her
When you were with your old girlfriend your house was normally dirty, and you never cleaned. This inevitably made life kind of miserable. You had to deal with dead ladybugs on the floor, a little more dust than you wanted to deal with, and a dirty vanity in the bathroom. Now that she’s gone and out of your life forever, this implicitly shows you life can be good without her, and it can actually be better than it ever was. This is key to getting over your breakup.
5. It builds confidence
I talk about this all the time, but building confidence is key to overcoming a breakup. The only reason we all feel angry, hurt, or mad when someone ghosts us or breaks up with us is because we are insecure with ourselves. We feel that someone has wronged us in some way, and we feel that we deserve better, so we get angry. But in reality, if we were secure in ourselves, we would know, and you would know, that you deserve better and this person is not worth wasting your time being angry over. We are afraid we are inadequate, and when someone leaves us this is also a reaffirmation of the lie we tell ourselves that we are inadequate, when in reality we were actually plenty enough adequate in the first place. Cleaning shows our inner selves that we are competent, secure individuals who are plenty enough adequate to take on the world by ourselves, whether this person is in your life or not.
6. When your next girlfriend comes along (and she will), it will impress her
Finally, when you are over your ex who ghosted you or broke up with you and are ready to move on, hopefully you have kept this useful habit of cleaning your house on a regular basis, and when you bring your new girl over she will notice. She will think to herself, “wow, this guy really takes care of himself and where he lives, my last boyfriend didn’t do that, this is really nice!” She will see you as a more high-quality boyfriend, and she will get a better version of you than your ex-girlfriend who ghosted you ever did. Then how likely do you think it will be that this girl ends of breaking up with you, or ghosting you now?
Like this post? I highly recommend you check out my other similar post, 5 Things Not To Do After A Breakup, which are five things I know you are already doing or you’re about to after your girlfriend breaks up with you, or check out 5 Rules For How To React Immediately After a Breakup, which gives you 5 solid and hard rules to follow so you know how to act and get over the breakup like a man.
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Disclaimer: I am not a doctor or medical professional. Please do not take my advice as if I was a doctor or medical professional, as I am not qualified to give that kind of health advice. Please be smart, and use your best judgement when starting a new diet/health/exercise plan and consult your doctor before starting a new diet/health/exercise plan. Thank you.
How To Get Over a Breakup 