“Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing.”
– Benjamin Franklin
It was freshman year in the Spring semester of my first year of college. I was sitting in my dorm room trying to think about how to write an essay about the book my literature class was reading. The book was good, and was interesting. It was about a fictional novel about an insecure teenage Russian boy living in Leningrad, Russia during the German seige in World War 2, and I could relate to him. Not that I had ever been in a war, or had to risk losing my life for looking for food, but the terror he described about how he felt about attractive girls and his own securities was spot-on to my own insecurities. I was able to write a successful 5+ page essay within the deadline (I had crammed again and not given myself a lot of time to write the essay) and finished it with ease. I wrote about my own life, and how it had related to the character of the novel we read for the class. I wrote about how insecurities as a young teenager are a struggle, similar to the struggle one might feel during a war. Since then I have noticed getting over your own securities because of a relationship, breakup, and in life is a never-ending battle to a crazy war that we all must face within ourselves. Here are five ways writing helped me get over a breakup when I was a insecure college freshman who was trying to just make an A in a introductory college course:
- It will help you learn to self-reflect
When you are forced to write five pages of dense material within a couple of days amount of time to turn in to someone else so that they can critically review your work, you are forced to be honest. I have b.s.’ed a lot of essays in my time, from essays on self-reflection in high school to essays on the principles of marketing my sophomore and junior years of college, and have found that it is very difficult to completely lie for five pages and get a decent grade. Professors and teachers can tell when you lie for five pages on an essay because everyone has tried to do it at some point. When you write honestly, it taught me to be honest with myself in other areas of my life, such as my past relationships. Then when I found myself thinking about my last ex, I wouldn’t make excuses and blame everything that went wrong on her, and would take ownership for the problems. Instead of saying, “it was her fault she got angry at me for being late on one of our dates” I would turn it around and say, “what did I do wrong and would could I have done to make her angry?” I would put myself in her shoes and analyze the problem more honestly, and then think, “what can I do next time with the next girl so that won’t happen again?”
2. It will help you stop thinking about the past
When there is a memory that bothers you you will likely think about it and dwell on it. For me it was when I was thinking about my ex while I was a freshman in college and would constantly think about the day she called me and broke up with me over the phone. I would dwell on it the next several months and think, “I should have reacted differently” or think, “I should have acted like I didn’t care” or “I should have acted like I cared more.” This thought-process is not only tiring but will keep you from moving forward in the future. When you keep thinking about these events you will only get stressed out like I did and become frustrated. Writing will help you clear these thoughts up, and will help you realize what you did/didn’t do that was wrong so that you can behave better in the future.
3. It will improve your confidence
The more you write about your past and about subjects you’re interested in, the more you will feel confident as a writer, and the more you will feel confident as a human being. Just like with any skill, the more you practice at it the more you will be able to master it and your confidence will subsequently sky rocket in that subject. For me, when I started writing more in college, it took my level of mastery from terrible to at least decent. This improvement was enough to make me feel more confident when I spoke, when I went out in public, and just in the way that I carried myself.
4. It will improve your chances with future girls
Girls love men who are good with words. Look at that guy who wrote every single best-selling romance novel for the past decade and every girl’s favorite romance movie – Nicholas Sparks. If he wasn’t married, it would be a guaranteed fact that this guy would be absolutely drowning in hordes of attractive females. Look at Benjamin Franklin, a man who was an excellent author. Rumor has it that back in the day he was also drowning in hordes of attractive females. Refine your ability to write in college and you will likely improve your ability to speak and interact with girls, and you will likely be able to get a new girlfriend which is key to moving on from your old ex.
5. It is a skill almost all employers want
Go to the front page of your favorite internet job website and you will likely find that every job listed that has anything to do with a college degree or any type of desk work will list the ability to write and communicate an attractive skill. Being able to convey this skill to employers will make you more valuable, and might land you a new job or internship while you are in college, which will also be a key to getting over your ex. Then you can spend more time self reflecting in a healthy way, thinking about the future, being more confident, and getting a new girlfriend all because you refined your ability to write and speak, and this will surely lead you on the road to moving on to bigger and better things, and moving on from your ex-girlfriend to become a bigger and better man.
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How To Get Over a Breakup 